


Wolf of Spring

by feysandsmut



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas, MAAS Sarah J. - Works
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Outlander, Inspired by the Batchelor, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-18 14:51:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11876829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feysandsmut/pseuds/feysandsmut
Summary: A Tamlin fic inspired by Outlander and the Batchelor.Tamlin needs to bury his past and move on. He’s changed, he knows it, but now he’s ready to show his court too. Now more than ever, the Spring Court needs an heir and they need him to find a wife. What better way to mend ties with his people by inviting eligible bachelorettes to his home? He’s about to find out.





	1. “There’s no shame in not knowing how to dance, lassie.”

##  _Before_

“Stop dragging me, Zephyr!” I tugged my arm away from his hard grasp. “I can take care of myself.”

He looked at me with a huff. “How many times did I tell you not to come here? It’s dangerous.”

“Just leave. Me. Alone. You’re not my father.”

“Kadha, if mother or father were here, they wouldn’t have even allowed you to step foot anywhere near the manor. Where have you left your senses?” Zephyr was about to grab me between the arms—to shake me, to haul me over his shoulders, I didn’t know—before he decided the better of it. He crossed his arms instead. “What about our little brother? Who’s taking care of him?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t leave him by himself, Zephyr.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he groaned over the steady thrum, “you need to go home.”

“No.”

“This isn’t the place for little girls to be wandering about.”

“But I just want to see what’s going on!”

“No,” he mimicked me with extra force.

“Please, Zephyr. I want to watch. I’ll keep hidden and stay in the shadows, I promise.” Despite my begging, I knew it was futile the moment Zephyr loosened his breath and looked up at the stars. I didn’t even have time to gather my thoughts before his arms unraveled to clamp between mine. This time, he did shake me.

“You have no idea how wrong this makes me feel for you to be here. I am begging you. Please go home. I’ll be done with my shift as soon as this Cauldron damned rite is finished and I expect you to be there when I am. I’ll only say this one more time; Go. Home. Kadha.”

I fought the prickling feeling in my eyes and yank my arms away. The drums in the background continued to thrum with my own heart. This strange feeling was gathering inside me, swirling up and up into a storm I couldn’t control before I finally met the look in my brother’s dark eyes. It was an unmoving force. I knew Zephyr didn’t like us fighting more than I did, I knew he was doing this to protect me, but I was old enough. I could take care of myself.

Without a word, I stormed away from him. My shoulders were stiff, my steps wonky from seeing red. I had never ever been to the rite—was never allowed to—and now, more than anything, I wanted to be surrounded by my people’s culture. In fact, something was telling me that I  _needed_  to be here.

With a deep breath, I glanced around to see if Zephyr was still watching. He was. Cauldron damn him. I turned back and continued my trample through the masses towards the clearing. It didn’t take long for me to find the lit path that led me back to the village and into our small, cramped cottage. I sighed. He could have at least offered me food to bring back home.

As I entered the path, the heavy beat of drums lingered softly behind me. The spring air was breezy this late in the night, and I especially felt it the further I left the warmth of the crowd and the bonfire. All I had on was a pathetically thin, simple cotton shift that glimmered green in the moonlight. Of course, it wasn’t my goal to take part in the rite—even if the thought of being chosen by the High Lord of Spring thrilled me—I was here for a different reason. To be honest, I wanted to know what really went on to result in those magical moments when I was younger—when mother and father came home from the rite as happy as I’d ever seen them. I knew what the rite was about. It was no secret. But there was still a small part of me that wanted to believe, just as I’d seen between my parents' stolen glimpses, that told me that love wasn’t just the physical things. It was everything but.

I skidded to a halt, my blood roaring in my ears. “Who’s there?” I called out into the darkness. Despite the burning lanterns guiding those traveling to and from the rite, it was near impossible to see further out into the distance. My head whipped around towards the distinct sound of a twig snapping in half.

The eyes were what I saw first. Green, piercing, Fae, though otherworldly. They shone through the shadows. Just the eyes and nothing more. I swallowed my fear.

The wolf stared at me unblinkingly.

I took a step back—towards the sounds of the drum, towards the rite, towards anywhere but here in front of this stranger. “I don’t mean any harm,” I said, as I got away with another step back, back, back.

A growl was my only reply.

In a blink of an eye, the wolf came out of the shadows, only to tower over me on his hind legs, so close that if I tilted my head up, my breath would find his face. It was huge and brown and furry and very, very real. This wasn’t a wolf. It was Fae. I could feel the coils of throbbing power in the air, could taste it on my tongue as he pressed into me. He smelled like wildflowers and smoke. I cleared my throat, trying not to show how much his presence affected me. “What do you want?”

The fear of being attacked was overshadowed by the sudden thought that this Fae was headed to the rite. I tried to tell myself that this was bad, at least it should have been, but deep down, I knew the truth. He was hiding—and I wanted to see this Fae for who he really was. My body arched into him as he moved against me until suddenly, the wolf-beast transformed into the most beautiful Fae in the Spring Court.

My mouth dropped open. Even in his Fae form, he still towered over me. He wore only pants, his bare, golden chest, out in all its glory. Sweat dripped from his neck and trailed down his chiseled body. “What do you want?” I asked again. My voice sounded breathless like it wasn’t even ready to fight back anymore.

His blonde brow rose up in question and I could already sense desire wafting into the air. He was so close to me that if I dared move, my shift would suck in the moisture on his chest. The thought hardened my nipples, the thrumming of the drums in the distance silenced by the aching throb between my legs.

The High Lord of Spring didn’t miss anything. His hand slowly but surely came up to brush my collarbone, before his hand trailed the string that tied the front of my shift together. The knot loosened with a sigh—or maybe I had sighed—I didn’t know, didn’t even care as the cool breeze hit my chest. It was instantly warmed by his large hand gripping my breasts, kneading the softness. All the while, his eyes remained on me. My breath loosened as his fingers twisted along my nipples, working the nerves gathering there. A loud moan escaped my lips. That was all it took to unleash the High Lord of Spring onto me.

I didn’t stop him as his mouth crashed down on mine, the smell of wildflowers swarming around me while his tongue explored every part of my mouth. The kiss was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I had been kissed plenty of times before, but this—this was a Fae starved of kisses and I was his on this night alone. My body, my poor, poor body could not even protest. It didn’t want to. I didn’t want to.

His mouth left mine and came lower, his lips dragging down my neck, nipping and sucking every part of my skin before it landed on my peaked nipples. I cried out unabashedly in pleasure before his lips slammed back down on mine. Here I was, a plain old towns folk making out with the High Lord of Spring in the middle of the path, under the stars. How romantic. An incredulous laugh bubbled out of me, vibrating onto his swollen lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he mouthed with a slight lilt into my mouth.

“What?” I barely managed out.

“Your laugh is beautiful.”

I said goodbye to the little remains of my rationale the moment he said those words. I hooked my arms and legs around him as he hauled me up and walked us away from the lit track towards the shadows of the trees. All the while, his lips continued to nip my bottom lip and suck my tongue. I couldn’t help myself as I shifted against him, as I grinded on his hard on, the length of it making me dizzy. My hand drifted down between us and hooked under his pants to stroke that length. He growled in pleasure, the sound echoing in the trees. “That will never fit inside me.”

“Then I’ll have to do something about that, lassie.”

He gently placed me down with my back against a tree. His hands continued to wander around my body, finding the hem of my dress and tugging it up over my head. He licked his lips at me just before he dipped down and ripped apart my underwear with his teeth, his mouth now licking and sucking. I was completely naked with the High Lord of Spring between my legs, gripping me from behind so he could dig his tongue in deeper. He was brutal as he licked every part of me and it didn’t take long for me to come close to the edge. My hands twisted into his unbound hair in anticipation before he suddenly flipped me over so my face was towards the tree and my back was to his chest. I rubbed my ass along his length, grinning with satisfaction when his breathing hardened against my ear.

“Perfect. You’re perfect,” he grunted, his hands coming around and stroking the soft spot between my legs—massaging the little ball of nerve aching for him. “And you’re so wet for me.”

All I could do was whimper with desire as his pants came down and slowly gripped my waist to guide his tip into my opening. He took his time to rub himself all over me, spreading the moisture that had been gathering there since the moment his lips touched mine. The aching between my legs became almost painful. “Please,” I begged.

With a wild growl, he thrust hard and deep behind me in reply. It was almost agonising, how good he felt inside me. I moaned so loudly, without a care in the world, as he went in and out harder and harder. He continued to hold me up against him, murmuring dirty things into my ear as his hands massaged my clit and the other kneaded my breasts.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard,” he promised.

In my very few and brief times during these situations, no one had ever talked dirty to me. It made me even wetter—if that was even possible. His hand suddenly left my breast, only to hold on tightly to my hair. I groaned in surprising pleasure, the pull of his grip adding a new sensation I loved. I peaked my shoulder over at him, wanting to see if I affected him just as much as he did me.

He was a sight I would never forget.

He was all straining muscles, sweat-slicked skin, contracting abs, flaming green eyes. He was the sight of pure Fae intensity and he was mine for the night. It would be hard to erase the image of him driving, thrusting, pounding into me like his release depended on it.

When he saw me watching him, he smiled, his sharp canines glistening in the moonlight, before his mouth tangled with mine. “Come for me. I want to hear your voice.”

I couldn’t hold it for much longer anyway. As his fingers swiftly rubbed against my clit faster and faster, as he drove harder and harder inside me—my inner muscles squeezed with each thrust. My nipples puckered under his fingers. There was no denying the flood of moisture where we were joined that was easing his way. I tilted my head back to the side and braced for the inevitable explosion and collapse.

“Say my name,” he ordered, ruthlessly shoving me into mindless oblivion. “I want to hear you scream my name as you cum.” He thrust once, twice before I felt myself explode.

“Tamlin,” I shouted into the night again and again until his canines suddenly came down on my neck and he released into me with a roar.

* * *

##  _Now_

There was no denying that the whole Spring Court was excited. It was palpable—almost a living, breathing thing—making its way between each guest. There were tables and tables of familiar, vibrant food situated all around the garden of the Spring Court manor, with musicians playing traditional court music. Everywhere you look, there were guests milling about, holding their bubbling, liquid gold.

Naturally, the spring air would be cool and manageable enough to wear a dress with sleeves. Though today, wearing my mother’s plain, cream coloured, high-necked dress, had not been a good idea. I was sweating bullets down my back. Though luckily, the sweat wasn’t evident on my face, despite the blush I was already well aware of sporting. I couldn’t help it. Every time my gaze drifted to the High Lord of Spring, my face burned and burned and burned. It was a natural reaction, especially after what had happened in our past.

He was making his way around the guests, sporting a traditional Spring Court green tunic and brown pants. There was no denying that he was ruggedly handsome. It wasn’t fair. Even from where I sat, I could see his tunic straining over his muscles and even though he looked weaponless, I knew they were well hidden to put all the guests at ease.

It was working.

Everyone, especially the women, was waiting giddily as the High Lord neared his way to greet them. I felt the opposite. I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t even down my drink without my hands shaking so violently that the grassy floor drank more than I did.

I sat by myself at an empty table, hidden beside the edge of the stage where the musicians played. I chose this spot because no one would notice me, and even if they did, they would not be so eager to compete with the loudness of the music. Strangely, I felt at home here near the stage and the instruments that overlooking the crowd. But that comfort washed away as soon as I realised I’ve put myself in a predicament. I was kind of trapped, with only one way out. If I had to make my escape, I’d have to do it now, before Tamlin—by the Cauldron,  _Tamlin_ —made his way to me.

I rose from my chair, just as a voice began beside me.

“Could everybody please find their seats?” An old male voice asked as the music quieted down to play softly behind him. “Tamlin, could you please make your way over here, young man?”

I blinked at the casualness of his tone towards Tamlin.  _Well, I can talk._  A rough night in the woods and I was already calling our High Lord by his first name too. Luckily, I was saved from him coming over to greet me, though that only meant that he was now closer than ever.

Sure enough, my once empty table suddenly became full. I couldn’t blame them—it was the perfect spot to ogle at Tamlin. The view was just behind him, though looking on from the side. Even from here, I could still see the outlines of his hard chest through his thin tunic, the rigid planes of his bare arms as he casually rolled up his sleeves—and by the Cauldron—his pants were so well fitted, that the outline of his behind was clear for all to see. I downed one drink, then emptied another from the platter. I was going to need a lot more to get through this. I tried to tell myself that this isn’t what I wanted or needed right now. What was important were the boys that waited for my return in our small cottage by the village. What happened between the High Lord and I was in the past and it should stay that way, for my safety and the others. The drink in my hand stopped shaking, my determination setting me at ease. I needed to get home. That was the goal.

“You are all aware, I’m sure, why you are invited to gather here today. I am Dougal, and I am officially welcoming you all wonderful ladies on this glorious occasion where one of you will be the suitable Bachelorette for the High Lord of Spring.”

Clapping erupted. I tried not to roll my eyes. I was surprised they could even understand what he was saying since his accent was so strong.

“Tradition is well celebrated in the Spring Court and this particular event is an old tradition which has not been carried through in quite a long time. But here we are today. Our High Lord was gracious enough to accept to finding love here, amongst all of you beautiful women, to marry.”

More clapping—more eye rolling from me. A few village girls who looked exquisite in their dresses glared back.

“Unfortunately, there could only be one bride and there are nearly thirty of you.” He chuckled low and deep—mostly to himself. In contrast, the crowd groaned, and this time, Tamlin’s face split into a breathtaking smile. He lifted his finger to his lips to quiet down the crowd. It worked. Everyone was dumb struck. “Don’t worry ladies,” the old man continued. “The sun is still high. You have by sun down to convince the High Lord as to why he should consider you to be his bride. Only five girls will be chosen,” and with that, he raised his glass. “Good luck, ladies!”

Good luck to me getting out of here unnoticed.

We all drank to that.

❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

“Did you leave a lover back home?” a heavily accented voice sounded. I looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of flaming orange hair and tanned skin before she scooted over beside another girl across from me. “You’re starting to blend into that chair.”

“Was I that obvious?”

“Mmh-hmm,” she popped a grape into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Even from across the garden.”

The quietness between us stretched on until I met her hazel eyes. We burst into hysterical laughter.

“I’m Florrie.”

“Kadha.”

“Ah, Zephyr’s little sister. I haven’t seen you around lately. What brought you here?”

I shrugged casually. “You and I both know that that letter was not an invitation—it was a summoning. I had to come here so much as you did.”

She looked at me all too knowingly before her eyes roamed around the women in the garden. “This is still unbelievable,” she breathed.

My eyes caught onto Tamlin as he bent over a seated woman and chatted intimately with her. “Tell me about it. I was not expecting this.”

“Have you ever met our High Lord?”

“No,” I lied.

“I have once. It was a messy affair.”

I didn’t press for more. “It seems this isn’t such a  _glorious occasion_  for all of us after all.”

She laughed and waved her hand. “Actually, I find it hard to believe that all these women want to be his bride. It doesn’t make sense to me. Some of them must be paid to be here. The Spring Court surely knows who will be chosen.”

“So... I take it you’re not into him then?”

“No, no. I’m just a realist. I know a lost cause when I see it. I’m just hoping I stick it out long enough to indulge myself before I get the boot,” she took a sip of her drink. “What about you?”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” I shrugged. “I’m absolutely nothing to him.”

Florrie smacked her lips together. “Maybe you should have brought a baby along then.”

“What?” I followed her gaze and found a woman wearing a beautiful, elegant pastel green gown, cradling what could only be her baby in front of her. She was murmuring close to Tamlin’s ear, just as everybody seemed to do. His expression was soft, his eyes tilted at the corners. It was all she needed to find the courage to hold her baby out for him, though he kindly stepped back and turned down her offer. “For Cauldron’s sake, how much more do we have to take of this?”

“Oh well. Like I said, we might as well enjoy the free food, the drinks, and the music while we can. You can even stuff the fruit under your dress to take home for later.”

I eyed the bananas and blueberries and shrugged. “I honestly just want to leave and forget this whole day ever happened. I don’t think I can stand seeing our High Lord for this long.” Another lie, though partly true.

She raised her perfectly groomed brow at me. “Do you hate our High Lord of Spring, Kadha?”

“What? No!” I stammer. “That’s treasonous.”

“I mean I’m just saying—you can hate the Fae bastard and still want to fuck him for his good looks.”

“Florrie!” I almost fell out of my chair from shock, my drink spilling in my hands. “Do you have a death wish? Someone could have heard you!”

“It’s a joke,” she laughed. “Relax!”

I laughed too. “You are so bad.”

“But I speak the tru—”

A shadow fell across the table. “I hope you lovely ladies are enjoying yourselves on this fine Spring day.”

Florrie’s wide hazel eyes found mine before she turned towards his voice, just as I shifted away from his view. “Of course,” she said so casually that I almost couldn’t believe how well she lied. “Though it is far more important that you are enjoying yourself, High Lord.”

“Please, call me Tamlin,” he replied back, his lilting accent so rich and deep that it was almost impossible for me to stop myself from turning around and gawk. There was a pause in their conversation before he asked, “and you are?”

I instantly tensed. From excitement or fear—I couldn’t tell. I didn’t want to look back at him. I couldn’t. I was a deer caught in the middle of a hunter’s bow. I was petrified. Tamlin and I had not seen each other after the night of Calanmai. He had no reason to. I was a disposable village girl and he was High Lord.

Florrie kicked my shins under the table to wake me up from my senses. I cleared my throat, swallowing the fear rising up and turned around.

He was so close in front of me that if I got up off my seat, we would be standing nose to nose. But when our gazes met, when I saw those wild, green eyes once again after so, so long ago, there was no trace of recollection in them. They were bright, staring down at me with strange wonder. “Kadha,” I managed to say. “That’s my name.”

Tamlin reached over and held my hand, pressing a gentle kiss to it. “A pleasure.”

I shivered at the touch.

“What is it you do, Kadha?”

“I—well, nothing,” I stammered.

“I’m sure there must be something that you love.”

My eyes roamed from his brutally beautiful face towards the stage.

He didn’t miss a beat. “You’re a musician?”

“A singer,” I corrected.

Tamlin smiled as soon as I found his gaze again. My body recoiled from the look, my face heating up from our exchange. Realisation dawned on me. I hated him. I hated everything about him. From his long blonde hair, tied back with a leather strap, to the sharp jaw that traced his face, down to his strong frame. I hated him for forgetting, for leaving me behind, for not thinking about me at all. Most of all, I hated myself for caring. I had already decided, long ago, that my life didn’t need this certain High Lord and I certainly didn’t need him now.

With startling ease, I plastered a fake smile and turned my body back towards Florrie to dismiss him. Her questioning gaze made me shrug. I was done talking to our High Lord. There are women here who would kill to be in the same position I am. I say, let them have him. I downed another drink, feeling the sizzling heat slide down my throat.

To my surprise, Tamlin’s shadow didn’t move. The silence between the three of us, between my table, between the garden full of women waiting impatiently for their turn was growing steadily. I refused to show how uncomfortable I felt. It was impossible to ignore Florrie’s gaze in front of me. I could already tell what she was trying to say without saying anything at all.

_He’s looking at you._

I sighed. “If you will both excuse me,” I began, rising from my chair, “I’m going to get more drinks.” I didn’t even get three steps away before Tamlin’s hand came over my arm.

“Dance with me.” Not a question.

It was the commanding voice of a High Lord that made me glance back at him. The memory of that night hit me like a tonne of bricks; his straining muscles, his sweat-slicked skin, his flaming green eyes. “Sure,” I managed to stammer out. You did not refuse the High Lord of Spring.

Tamlin bowed and took my hand, leading me towards the middle of the dance floor. It was empty, except for us. The music instantly changed to a slower melody. Without missing a beat, he placed his large hand on my lower back, his body a safe distance away from mine.

“Breathe,” he whispered softly. “I’m not going to let you make a fool of yourself.”

“Was it that obvious?”

“There’s no shame in not knowing how to dance, lassie. All you have to do is follow me.”

 _I would have followed you anywhere_  I wanted to say. Instead, I kept quiet and did as he instructed.

This dance was not traditional in our court, yet it was simple enough for me to get into the rhythm. We didn’t speak, but we didn’t have to. I knew when he was about to twirl me in front of him, or when he was about to dip my head. I would be lying if I said I didn’t like this closeness between us, how I felt his every breath on my cheek, how his chest seemed to find mine, only to graze it and leave again.

Though the pleasantness of the dance turned sour the moment reality set in. Tamlin would act kindly to any maiden he met, especially in such a public event. I wasn’t special. Who was I kidding when I thought he would remember me, or what we’d share that night in the woods? He was a High Lord, and I was just—well, I was just plain old me. I’m sure there were countless other girls before and after who were in the same position. My body instantly tensed when his lips brushed my ear.

“Is my dancing not to your liking?”

“I’m sorry—no, it’s not that. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Then tell me. I’m happy to hear it if only to relieve the distress on your face.”

I looked up at him to search for the truth. “Is this really what you wanted?” I asked instead. “To fall in love this way? Or is this just a way to find the Bride of Spring and make the court happy?”

He seemed taken aback by my question. “Do you want the answer from the proper High Lord of Spring, or Tamlin’s answer?”

“Your honesty is all I would ever want.”

“Then maybe, a small part of me believes that the woman I love isn’t here. Maybe the Bride of Spring would not be someone who I truly love. Maybe, that person is out there, living a life I could not even begin to imagine. Then should I stop what’s happening here? So that I could get to her?” He gives me a look. “And I expect an honest answer, lassie.”

“If she’s your mate, then—”

“My mate is dead.”

I swallowed, his voice rumbling through my chest. “If your heart is elsewhere, then I don’t see the reason why you shouldn’t find her. What’s stopping you? There’s no use living a lie, forcing yourself to feel something for someone you don’t care about.”

“Time and time again, I have questioned the same thing. But. it wasn’t real. She was a dream in the past. This is real, the women here are real. That’s why I’m here and not chasing dreams.”

I locked up at his words, always searching, searching, searching for the truth. It was not him who I didn’t trust, but myself. I knew I would cling to any bit of hope. But I was not bold enough to clarify what he meant, to dare ask who it was he was talking about. Tamlin’s past was known to every Fae in the village. We knew about his past lover, we knew about the war and we knew what part he had to play. In the years of his resurgence, he had never had a lover.

Before I dared to reply, his hand suddenly trailed up from my lower back to stroke my hair. His fingertips threaded through the loose strands before he gently guided my head to the crook of his neck. He chuckled, more to himself, as if his words were about to take him by surprise too. “You smell so good,” he whispered, the words almost like a purr. “Like lavender and… something else.”

His breath tickled my ear, and it took all my effort not to groan in pleasure.

“Tell me, what is that wonderful scent?”

But before I could reply, before I was about to do something I would have forever regretted, someone tapped my shoulder. “Could I have a turn to dance with our High Lord?” the female voice asked.

The hand on my back tensed, almost as if he couldn’t let me go and suddenly, a deep rumble vibrated through my chest. When had our bodies come together like this?

“Yes, of course,” I said, stepping out of his embrace and welcoming the chilly breeze. I didn’t even look back as I walked as fast as my legs could take me, away from my past, away from reality.

Finding a quiet corner, I hid behind the cover of an oak tree and wept in silence.


	2. “I didn’t think you would come back, lassie.”

I found myself walking back some time later. The women were now congregated in groups with Tamlin nowhere in sight. I made a beeline towards the only person I knew besides him to distract myself. As soon as I got there, Florrie shoved a drink in my hand and acclimated me easily into their conversation. I listened in patiently as they prattled on about what they were wearing and how excited they were to be here. Despite their optimism, it was quite clear who Tamlin would go for. The noble women who reside in the village would be the best bet as his bride. They were the more sensible of choices—not me.

When I finally caught a glimpse of his bound, blonde hair, I couldn’t take my eyes away. I sipped my drink and watched under heavy lashes as he chatted with one very lovely looking woman. They looked so happy, so perfect together that this strange feeling built in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t realise how much I wanted it—this fantasy of him and I being together contently. One night of amazing, hot sex really does that to you.

“So, Kadha, what do you think? Is your life long dream to marry a High Lord and live in the Spring Court?” a woman asked. Her seductive dark blue eyes studied me like a cat does a mouse.

“Truthfully,” I said, though not as eloquently, “I don’t know. Maybe in the past, I would have said yes in a heart beat. But now, I don’t know,” I trailed off.

She flashed her teeth at me. “Surely the sight of him alone would let you know what you want?”

“He’s gorgeous and very good looking and downright beautiful—I must admit, it’s so easy to overlook everything else with the sight of him alone.”  _Boy, do I know._  “And those things help certainly help, but it’s too early to say that I want to be with him forever. I don’t know anything about him. What were his parents like? How was his childhood? How does he act when no one’s looking? I think I want to get to know him before I decide that I want to be with him, let alone marry him.”

“You’ve really thought of this,” another woman chimed in.

“But wouldn’t you if you came here? You could be marrying a High Lord you know nothing about other than the rumours circulating in the village.” Their quietness surprised me. I hadn’t realised the change in the air between our group until someone cleared their throat.

My body locked up as soon as I felt his warm presence behind me. I knew it was him from his scent alone. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” he said to the group before his piercing green eyes turned to me. “Please, don’t let me disturb you, continue what you were saying.”

“You seem to love taking me by surprise.”

He chuckled. I could have sworn I heard the women groan. “I guess I simply can’t keep away.”

I think I was going to faint. I cleared my throat, realising just how our words could be interpreted. “I was just letting the women know that they shouldn’t believe everything they hear.”

“Oh, really? And what do they hear?”

“That you are cold and cruel with a heart of stone.” I vaguely heard an intake of breath from the other women, but I was too in the moment to think of anything else other than Tamlin and I standing face to face. “They say that this event is a front, that you have no intentions of finding a bride, let alone caring for any of us, or Cauldron forbid, falling in love.”

The corner of Tamlin’s mouth tilted up. “I can assure you now that I’m here because I’m ready to fall in love. It’s not something I’m taking lightly—not anymore.”

I didn’t know what came over me in that moment. My heart thundered in my chest as realisation dawned on me. I cared for him more than I was willing to admit and it rubbed me the wrong way to know that the women were here for the wrong reasons. I wanted them to know, I wanted them to see that he was capable of caring.

Tamlin’s hand found the small of my back. Slowly, slowly, slowly, he leaned in to whisper softly into my ear.

I nodded, telling myself that I was going more from the desire to get away from the crowd rather than the excitement of being alone with him. Where were my senses? Even though I claim to hate him, I was still so desperate to be near him.

With his hand still pressed on my lower back, he led me across the garden to a little circular niche where a stone fountain stood in the middle. Stone benches lined the boundary and wild flowers grew below them. Now I knew where his scent came from.

I took a step closer towards the fountain, running my hand under the water as he found a seat behind me. Deep breath in, deep breath out. I needed to tell him. “You must come here a lot,” I said instead. I turned back around to see his deep gaze watching over me. Despite his sheer size, he looked right at home in front of a backdrop of wildflowers.

“When I can’t sleep, I come here.”

“You come here to sleep?”

Tamlin’s blonde brow rose up as if to accuse me of questioning the comfort in sleeping on a stone bench. “It’s peaceful here.”

“Well, I suppose, though wouldn’t you rather be in the comfort of your own bed?”

“I’m old, lassie. It’s nice to change things up once in a while.”

“I still don’t get it.”

He patted the bench and invited me to sit, not uttering a single word until I apprehensively sat furthest away from him. It wasn’t fear that kept me at length. Actually, it was quite the opposite. I was too happy to be near him and that thought alone made me want to run in the other direction.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“No.”

The smouldering smirk Tamlin sent my way nearly made me fall backward on the bench. “Then pretend, just for a few seconds that you do.”

I nodded. I guess I could do that.

His hands gently gripped my shoulders, his gaze never leaving mine. “Lift your feet up,” he instructed, before twisting me around and lowering my head onto his lap.

“You could have just asked me,” I breathed.

“Where’s the fun in that?” His thick corded muscle strained under me as he laughed. “Now, close your eyes.”

I closed them. The sound of the water trickling by the fountain hit me first. It was a lulling sound that would sure put me at ease. Though that wasn’t even the best part. “I guess I can understand why you don’t mind sleeping here.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s everything; the cool breeze, the running water, the peacefulness and that scent—” I sniffed at the sweet smell of lavender tickling my nose only to open my eyes and find Tamlin waving a stem right in front of me. I couldn’t stop the bubbling laugh that came out as I tried to swat the lavender away. I sat up, dizzy from the movement.

He reached over and held the lavender at me, the shadow of his smile transitioning into the perfect image of a High Lord. “Take it,” he said, his voice rough. “For this one moment—here—trust me and take it.”

My hand reached over and brushed his knuckles and for a moment, I was just a girl in front of a boy, accepting a flower, not thinking about what this meant for me, for us and for our future.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

There was nothing I could do but watch as the sun set down into the horizon. I sat just by the golden window overlooking the garden we spent our whole day at. Everything had been efficiently packed away once the rest of the women left. I twirled the lavender between my fingers—a nervous habit I had picked up after since receiving it. Now, there were only five of us. The number seemed surreal. I didn’t know what to do with myself here. I was constantly feeling out of place.

“Will you stop fidgeting, Kadha?” Florrie’s hand grasped mine. “You’re making me feel nervous.”

I sighed and hid my lavender into the pocket of my dress. “I still can’t believe we were chosen to stay by Tamlin himself.”

“Look, I know why he chose me, but I’m not sure what he liked about you. Could it possibly be your snippy, no filtered mouth?” She asked sarcastically. “I can’t believe how you spoke to our High Lord earlier. You most definitely have a death wish.”

“Wait, what do you mean you know why you were chosen and not me? What’s wrong with me?”

“Look around, girl. The women here are highborn, they know how to handle themselves in court, and you can bet they’ve had lessons and lessons on how to sit right and what cutlery to use when eating seven-course meals.”

“You’re highborn?” I looked her up and down unabashedly, studying her flowing orange hair, her plain green dress, her sparkly silver shoes. What I missed before wasn’t the details of her clothes, but her unmarked, polished and naturally tanned skin. It was the complexion of a noble woman who had not kneaded dough on three hours of sleep or scrubbed clothes by the stream in the early mornings or plowed fields in the rain.

“My father owns the stable in the village. He provides horses for the Spring Court. It’s no big deal really. I prefer not to bring it up.”

“But you just said you’re a woman of court? Don’t they love to brag about their rank to anyone who would listen?”

“Consider me special, then.”

“You are full of surprises, aren’t you? Anything else you’re not telling me?”

“Nothing you need to know for now,” she winked at me.

“I don’t even think I want to know.”

Florrie laughed. “I’m not the one who’s hiding secrets. What’s going on between you and a certain High Lord? You out of any of us spent the most time with him. Is there any back story there?”

“Absolutely nothing,” I lied. “I’m as surprised as you are.”

“Unlikely. Now, spill the details. I want to know what you talked about.”

“Nothing,” I pressed. “I’m not interested in him like that. You should know that by now. I’m just more worried about my brothers. Zephyr was not expecting me to be away this long and I wouldn’t be surprised if he came storming in to get me.”

“Well look smart, that old man is coming.”

We straightened up, sitting like proper ladies as Dougal moved with haste towards us. 

“Ladies, thank you for waiting. I hope you all enjoyed our garden party and a huge congratulation is in order. Though I’m sure you are all tired and ready to call it a night. So, if you could come with me. Let’s walk and talk,” he moved so fast that we had barely any time to get on our feet. “You will be staying in the east wing, and each of you will have your own room of course. Our High Lord wants you all to be as comfortable as possible while you stay here. Tomorrow, I will collect you all in your rooms and we’ll go over the finer details, but for now—ah, here we are—get yourselves settled in and comfortable, you deserve it, ladies. Your belongings will be collected in your respected houses.” He opened the first door, and Blair, a petite blonde woman went in. He closed the door and proceeded to do that with each girl until I was the only one left.

“Excuse me, sir,” I managed to stammer before he shoved me into an open room. “What did you mean when you said our belongings will be collected?”

“There are only very basic things inside the room for you darlings and of course we had no idea who our High Lord would pick so we will need to collect your other things in the morning. Ok? Any other questions?”

“And if I can’t sleep tonight, will I be able to have a walk in the gardens?”

“Of course, of course. Is that all? Yes? Right, good night darling. I’ll see you in the morning.” He closed the door behind me without waiting for my reply.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

Ignoring the fact that my room was twice the size of my house—and a single, silver candle holder could feed my family for a whole month—I continued to burn a path in front of the smouldering fireplace. My mind was all over the place, too high up in the clouds to be thinking straight. I needed this time to figure out what to do, yet images of Tamlin and I alone in the garden kept pressing on my mind. I was torn between the pleasure of staying and the content of leaving.

My feet skidded to a halt.  _Get yourself together, Kadha._  What was I thinking? I need to go home tonight, figure this out with Zephyr and return here… did I even want to return?

I didn’t give myself any time to think about.

Grabbing the handle, I released a breath and turned the golden knob. My door opened without making a sound. I looked to the left and right of me and found no eyes lurking. One part down, two more to go; clear the manor and past the gates into the path to the village. I cringed. I hated being on that path.

The front doors of the manor were quickly approaching. Nobody stopped me. Not even when my hand latched on the door, not even when it swung open and not even when my foot crunched onto the gravel of the ground. The only thing standing between myself and home were the iron gates, coiled in roses and ivy, surrounding the manor. I paced myself, reaching the sentries.

“I have an emergency at home,” I said to them, “word has been sent to our High Lord and I am to go back to the village this instant.” They looked at each other questioningly, as if to ask if I was a threat. Simultaneously, they both shrugged and wordlessly opened the gates for me and just like that, I was on my way home.

I broke into a run. It was a messy scramble in the dark, my braid unraveling behind me, the swishing of my dress the only sound echoing in the air.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

My run back home was equally hurried. The moon was still high up in the sky, the darkness barely manageable despite the torches along the path. I didn’t know what I had been expecting when I came back—more chaos perhaps—but it had not been this. Instead of the possible commotion resulting from a girl missing during the late hours of the night, the Spring Court manor looked more peaceful than ever. In fact, when I finally stepped in front of the gates, there were no sentries stationed on either side. An uneasiness settled over me.

I pushed the gates open and stepped inside the grounds, my feet crunching on gravel, my breath fogging in front of me. When it was clear that nobody was around, I ran towards the front doors, all the while searching, searching, searching until I found it—the reason for the serene quietness. I skidded to a halt the moment I saw Tamlin sitting by the porch steps of the manor, still wearing the traditional green tunic and matching pants from earlier on today. He looked ragged—his eyes weary—as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“I was just—” my voice trailed off into the wind. I didn’t even know how to explain.

He stood up, his brows drawing together. “Who are you?”

The question caught me by surprise. “What do you mean?”

“This feels like a dream,” he whispered so quietly that I could have imagined his words.

Though in an instant, I saw the light in Tamlin’s eyes die. He was about to turn around and go back inside when I did the unthinkable. I ran towards him and grabbed him by the arm to force him to look back at me. “I don’t know what you want from me, Tamlin. This place isn’t for me. I don’t deserve to be here. I’m no one special, no one important. Why are you keeping me here?”

“I’m not keeping you here,” he snarled with blazing intensity. “You are no prisoner. You are free to come and go whenever you like. I didn’t stop you as I watched you leave and I certainly didn’t ask you to come back. Yet here you are.” His chest rose and fell with each word.

I dropped my arm like I’d been burned from the touch. “What do you want from me?” I fired back. “You said I am free to go as I pleased, yet here  _you_ are.” Our breaths mingled together, his frustration matching mine. I closed my eyes, needing a moment to get my emotions in check and found my gaze on the floor. He wasn’t even wearing any shoes. My heart cracked open. It had been hours and hours since I’d left. “You waited for me.”

He ran his hand through his tousled hair. “I didn’t think you would come back, lassie.”

“It wasn’t my intention,” I said honestly.

‘Then why?”

“I don’t know.”

He brushed the hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. “I wanted you to come back,” he murmured before I watched him disappear back inside the manor.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

“What happened to you?” Florrie greeted me in the morning. We were all on our way to have breakfast with the High Lord, the women extremely excited for their first full day in the manor, whilst I felt like death was upon me. I hadn’t slept a wink after my encounter with Tamlin.

“Ugh, don’t even ask.”

“Couldn’t sleep last night? Was it the expensive bed linen that got you tossing and turning all night, or the feel of Tamlin’s hard body pressed against you as you danced? Or actually, was it when he was eye fucking you from across the garden?”

“You are so lucky,” I gritted through clenched teeth, “that we’re in public or else I would have socked you where it hurt.”

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.”

I plastered on a fake smile—promising Florrie a sure death—as we stepped into the dining room where a long table filled with fruit and vegetables and meat were laid out. Tamlin sat at the head of the table wearing a plain white tunic and matching pants. He looked even worse than me.

The other women filled the seat closest to him whilst Florrie and I found seats at the end of the table. We all curtseyed before we sat, but I took special note not to make eye contact or linger too much in front of him. As soon as Florrie relaxed, I kicked her under the chair. “That was for earlier.”

“You absolutely witch,” she hissed.

We laughed quietly as we filled our plate.

“I’m glad you’re smiling though. Look at Tamlin over there, more proof that it really must be because of the latter.”

I shrugged.

Her mouth dropped. “By the Cauldron, did you touch yourself to the memory of him last night?” she whisper-yelled at me. “Is that why you’re so content with yourself ? Or was it—”

Tamlin stood from his chair and clinked his spoon in his glass to silence the chatter. “Congratulations for making it this far,” he began. “You are all here today because I have formed a special bond with each and every one of you and I’m willing to explore that further. Over the course of the weeks ahead of us, you will have one on one time with me as well as taking on group activities to see how well you acclimate into your role as a Lady of the Spring Court.” And with that, he raised his glass and made a toast before sitting back down.

Everyone instantly went back to their chatter, digging into their mounds of food. Before I could even reach for a glistening strip of bacon, Tamlin’s attention turned my way.

“Did you two enjoy your stay last night?”

“It was perfect, thank you Tamlin,” Florrie answered beside me. Thank the Cauldron she was closest to him on the table.

“That’s great to hear,” he said, his morning voice deep and coarse. “I’m glad you all slept well and didn’t wander late at night.”

I nearly choked on my tea.

“Could you imagine if anyone left in the middle of the night, Kadha?”

“I wouldn't dream of it, High Lord.”

“What would you do,” he purred, “if you saw a woman leave in the middle of the night without any escorts?”

I chewed my food slowly before speaking. Two could play at this game. “I would trust them, your High Lord, to not do anything indecent.”

“Such as?”

“Steal silver candle holders to sell in the village?”

Some of the girls giggled.

His answering smile unnerved me. “I would have been disappointed if any of you stole a silver candle holder, so much as leave without telling me.” More giggling. “I don’t want any of you to feel trapped inside this manor. That is not why I have you all here. I want you to get comfortable with your surroundings. For one of you, this will be your future home. Though if you do wish to leave, I can assure you that I will escort you to your house myself.”

Everybody halted their eating and waited patiently until Tamlin finished talking. It was a polite thing to do, but the mood had shifted in the air. It didn’t have to be said that our High Lord was in a kink today. What made it even worse was the ‘why’. They didn’t know what had transpired between Tamlin and I last night that may have resulted to this.

“Wear appropriate clothing to go riding. Today, I will bring you down to the stables and you will find a horse to ride.” With that, he stood back up from his seat and left the table without so much as touching his food, and I paid no attention—telling myself I didn’t care—as the women sitting closest to him casually got up and followed his direction. His mood unnerved me. I didn’t understand his motives.

And then it dawned on me. What if he lied and followed me back home? Now it felt like I was going to be saying hello to the bacon I had shoved down my throat earlier. If Tamlin had followed me to my cottage and returned just in time to meet me back at the manor, why hadn’t he said anything at all?


	3. “Be honest with me, lassie.”

My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets as I scavenged through my closet. There were dresses and dresses scattered all around me, yet I couldn’t find anything appropriate to wear for riding. The Spring Court hadn’t yet retrieved my clothes from the village—which was a relief in a way—but now I had absolutely nothing to wear other than the dresses they had provided. That meant a lifetime’s worth of long, frilly green dresses. With a curse, I pulled out the plainest, most appropriate thing I could find. The colour was no surprise, though this particular green was on the yellow side, like the colour of wheat. It had two thin straps with a neckline that went straight across my chest. I couldn’t hide the fact that my boobs were a little on the large size, especially for my frame, but I pushed them down anyway to flatten under the dress. Everything else was loose as the dress flowed down to my ankles so I figured it would be fine for riding. The moment I stepped out of the room and gazed at the other women, I knew it would certainly be not.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Florrie asked, looking me up in down in her suede riding gear. It was beautifully crafted, outlining the silhouette of her strong figure. There was no denying that it was perfectly tailored for her and her alone. In fact, everyone here was wearing such high-quality riding gear that I blanched.

“I can’t go out like this,” I hissed at her. “Do you have anything else I could wear?”

Florrie shook her head. “My house keeper packed my suitcase last night, and the court must have brought it in during the wee hours of the day. She only gave me one.”

“Then where are my clothes? What should I do?” The women were already leaving to meet Tamlin at the stables. “I’m going to stand out like a sore thumb.”

“Oh, stop fretting. Riding in a dress is not as bad as it seems. No one will chastise you. Besides, you look great. Who cares what our High Lord thinks.” She pulled me by the arm and dragged me down the stairs muttering unintelligible things when I tried to turn around and go back up the way we came. It went on like that until we passed the garden of the Spring Court and reached the stables nearby.

My mouth fell open at its’ sheer size. The stables were huge and practically double the size of my cottage. Besides, it was two oval shaped pens for the horses to roam about. There were already a handful of horses out in the early morning, their long faces stuffed in the hay.

Luckily for Florrie and I, no one paid us any attention as we stood behind the group. Everyone’s gazes were at Tamlin, who sat atop his white stallion next to Dougal. I doubt anyone was even listening to what the old man was saying, considering the powerful presence that Tamlin emulated in his spot drew you in. His stallion was a beast, though it looked so normal and tamed under the High Lord.

Dougal clapped his hands to get our attention. “Come on,  come on,” he said impatiently as if he was getting fed up with being ignored. “Find your horses behind you, darlings. We shall be off very soon.”

I stood on the sidelines as everyone picked their horse, one by one. It was no surprise that Florrie chose the bigger stallion, whilst most of the women chose the mares. I was on my way to do the same, pretending like I knew exactly what I was doing when a set of big brown eyes looked my way behind the fence. My heart squeezed at the familiarity of them. I was drawn to him just with that one look. He was way, way bigger than me, with a soft brown body and jet black hair. I approached slowly as I opened the gate to the pen and passed the women readying their horses.

My shoes met soft, wet grass—the hem of my dress already soaking up the morning dew. Taking another small step, I came closer towards the beast. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with a horse like this. How does one even get on top of it? The stallion was restless, throwing his head back and forth, clearly distressed. It was almost instinct for me to reach over and stroke his head whilst murmuring for it to relax.

When he finally settled, I reached over to unhook his reins from the post. Being this close to the stallion didn’t seem scary at all. He watched me behind long black lashes, his hair covering parts of his big brown eyes. I smiled at the familiarity of it and brushed his bangs off his face. That’s when I found the word  _Glenarder_  written in purple on the leather reins coming across between his ears.

“That’s not how you ride a horse, lassie.” I couldn’t help the squeal that came out my lips as large hands grabbed me by the waist and hoisted me up onto the stallion. The excitement of my first time being on a horse was overshadowed by the fact that he had something to do with it.

I looked at everywhere else except for him, the beast of a horse moving about everywhere underneath me as the silence stretched on between us. It didn’t take long before I gave up entirely. “Go away,” I muttered under my breath. I was a child who put other small children to shame.

He clicked his tongue at me, reaching up easily to flick my nose. “Stop testing my patience.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Sure you’re not.”

The moment his foot stepped in front of the other, my blood ran cold. I looked at the ground, so much farther away than I had realised, then back at Tamlin’s back. “Wait! Aren’t you going to let me down?”

“You don’t need to,” he threw over his shoulder. “We’re leaving.”

“But…” I looked around at the women who’s confidence shone in their faces. In fact, they loved this—they were ready to show off their skills. Yet here I was, in deep deep trouble. “How do I get it to move?”

“You mean to tell me that you’ve never ridden a horse?”

I kept quiet.

He barked out a laugh. “Not only are you unable to ride a horse, but you’re also unable to follow clear instructions on dress code.  _And_  you left last night without an escort, putting yourself in danger and worrying me to the depths of the Cauldron.” He shook his head at me. “You’re not showing very good promise to be my bride.”

“Who said anything about me wanting to be your bride?”

“You are testing me, aren’t you?” he asked as he walked back towards me. He began to stroke the stallion’s head lovingly, much like I did before. “This is Glenarder. He’s one of my youngest stallions. A little bit on the rough side, though I’m surprised you got so close to him. You’re the first to ride him, actually.”

A little squeal came out of my lips as Tamlin led Glenarder out of the pen with me still on top.

At the sight of us, Dougal rushed over. Tamlin intercepted him, and the two shared a couple of quick words before the old man glanced at me with a look, before turning to the group of women, shouting, “let’s go, let’s go! I want to get there before the food turns sour.”

I waved goodbye to Florrie as she disappeared into the foliage of the trees though Tamlin didn’t move until the last horse had left. From up here, I had the perfect view of his blonde hair. How he managed to keep it so luscious and shining was beyond me. One small braid came from either side of his temple until the two came together into a neat ponytail. He was exquisitely handsome, in a rough, rugged kind of way. My heart did a double take. Tamlin and I were alone.

“Glenarder is a rough horse,” he began calmly as if he couldn’t feel the tension already brewing between us. “Don’t let the big brown eyes fool you, lass. He’s wild, he’s dangerous and he likes to run. Trust him and he will trust you—after all, he chose you as much as you chose him.” He spoke each word so lovingly that I couldn’t look away. I had never met this Tamlin before. “I’m not going to make you saddle another horse just because it would be safer. In this case, you were made for each other, so I’m going to help you ride him. Do you understand?”

I nodded.

“First thing’s first—” he suddenly gathered my dress from my feet and pushed it to the side. I shivered as his knuckles brushed my ankles. “Your legs steer the horse. They let your horse know which way you’re going.” He gripped my foot in his hand and held it outwardly. “This is how you keep your feet. Like this. Glenarder will not find it amusing if your toes keep jabbing into his side.” He dropped my foot, his smouldering eyes turning me to ash. “You don’t need to tap your heel into him to steer him left or right—all you have to do is press your legs into him.” He ran his calloused hands over my legs, stopping midway to my thighs and pressed so my legs squeezed into Glenarder’s stomach. “He’s a smart boy. A small touch like that and he’ll understand what you mean. Do you want to try steering him with me? Let’s get started on the track so we don’t fall behind.”

I nodded again, seemingly lost for words.

Tamlin continued to hold onto Glenarder’s reins even as he saddled his own horse. He noticed me looking and shrugged. “For safety.”

We continued to lead our horses slowly through the path that led into the village. The same path where we had met. I tried to steady my roaring heart. “It’s definitely easier than how you explained it to be. But I feel like my legs will be sore tomorrow.”

He chuckled. “That you can bet on.”

I scratched Glenarder behind his ears. Now that I’ve ridden him for a while, I was slowly getting the hang of it. “I think I’m ready to ride him by myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” I said evenly.

Tamlin let go of my reins, not hesitating to give me full control of Glenarder. At first, nothing had changed with the way the horse moved, other than my internal fear that he would suddenly buck—or worse—break into a gallop. Glenarder, sensing my fear, shook his head and neighed.

Tamlin’s arm shot out to hold mine. “I’m right here. Don’t be afraid, lassie.”

“I’m ok,” I breathed. I steadied my shaking hands under Tamlin’s. He squeezed once, before letting go.

“Let’s try that again.”

This time, Glenarder relaxed under me. He was a smart horse. He could sense everything I was feeling and was reassured when Tamlin had reassured me. I stroked his neck and whispered into his ear. My confidence built just as our bond grew and it didn’t take long for me to break into a trot. All the while, Tamlin matched my pace, never saying anything other than encouraging words. We rode wordlessly for what felt like hours. Despite the cramping in my legs, it was worth it to ride this beautiful animal. It also kind of helped that Tamlin was next to me, never leaving my side. “You’re a good teacher,” I said, breaking the silence between us. All the anger and hate I felt with him seemed to be left behind at the Spring Court manor.

“Not always. I’m still learning, even now.”

“You will never stop learning to be patient, especially if you’re a High Lord. That is also something I’ve learned these past years. I know a great effort when I see it and I see it in you.” Even if you don’t remember what had happened between us.

He quietly thanked me. “No one has ever said anything,” he said. “You’re the first person.”

“About you being patient?” His leg brushed mine as our horses came closer together. I had to take a moment to compose myself. “I’m sure they all notice. But to praise you would mean acknowledging the fact that you weren’t patient at all, to begin with. Do you understand their position, High Lord?”

“I suppose you’re right,” he turned to look at me. I didn’t know what I was expecting. Anger, perhaps. But not this emotion—the desire of someone trying to find a place in a world where he was already determined from birth. “I suppose I do need more honesty around me.”

“Then celebrate those who encourage you truthfully. That’s all anyone ever wants from you.”

The corner of Tamlin’s lips lifted, his eyes wrinkling around the edges. I met his half smile with my own. “I’m ready to gallop now.”

His small smile turned into a grin, stretching from ear to ear and showing off his sharp canines. “I thought we would never catch up to the group by sundown. Now we might actually have a chance.”

I rolled my eyes at him playfully and he, in return, smacked Glenarder’s backside. The stallion instantly took off into a run, my dress billowing behind me as the wind slammed into my face, though this time, I welcomed the thrill. In a way, it was like flying. Glenarder was so far from the ground that I felt like a bird soaring through the trees. I trusted my stallion, and weirdly enough, I trusted that Tamlin was there to catch me if I fall. The thought speared me on, my legs squeezing to drive Glenarder faster. I let out a  _whoop_  in the process. All the while, Tamlin matched my speed, never letting me out of sight.

“Are you laughing?” I breathlessly called out.

“Not at you, lassie.”

“Then at what?” He glanced back at me then back on the path, his hair loose from the wind. He looked so much younger when he smiled. “Spit it out, High Lord. You have to add honesty after patience in your things to learn.”

He bellowed a laugh. “I think that you are a dream and that I’m lucky to have found you.”

There was no mistaking the honesty shining through his eyes. What should have been a happy moment turned sour when my mind drifted to the reality of the truth. I wrestled with myself, trying to figure out whether that said truth was worth his knowledge.

Out of the blue, Tamlin’s hand jerked my way as he shouted— _growled_ —for me to look out. My reflexes were not as fast as his. There was nothing I could do but hold on as Glenarder skidded to turn away from an oncoming tree.

Solid arms enclosed around me before I felt the odd sensation of turning into shadow and mist. In a blink of an eye, my back was on the ground as the weight of Tamlin’s body hovered over me.

We lay there breathing heavily, his rugged face so close to mine. The memory of us in a similar position like this squeezed at my heart. He propped himself up on his elbow, whilst his other hand held my chin up. I closed my eyes and turned away, but he held on. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“I said,  _I’m fine_.”

His hand slipped away from my face. “I thought we said we were going to be honest with each other?”

“You and I both know that that will never happen,” I murmured.

“You don’t know that, lassie. What makes you think that I wouldn’t choose you?”

“You might choose me, Tamlin, but your court won't. We are two different people. What’s going on between us will never happen. I will never be suitable enough to be the bride of Spring, especially when I’m competing against noble ladies.” And it was for the better, I tried to tell myself. I was just Kadha, a village girl who sings for a living. He was Tamlin, High Lord of Spring. We were nothing alike. What we had now was a fantasy. What awaited at home was more important than pursuing it. “I have to go—” My words died down the moment Tamlin’s mouth crashed into mine. A soft moan escaped my lips. I never knew I would get the chance to feel his lips against mine again.

This was a gift from the Cauldron, I was sure of it. And because I was desperate, because I was feeling vulnerable, I was more than willing to accept, more than willing to take anything I could get, even for this one moment. I didn’t fight it as his tongue explored my own—didn’t fight it as his rough hand came up from my skirt to feel the trace of my undergarment. Any other time, I would have been embarrassed by my eagerness, but I welcomed it all, saying his name again and again into his ear as his fingers trailed against the wetness between my legs.

Tamlin’s lips left mine only for it to trail down my neck. On instinct, I tilted my head to the side, remembering the way his canines felt on my skin.

His body suddenly locked up.

I opened my eyes to find him staring down at me with wide eyes. His fingertips ran along the side of my neck.

“This,” he began, his voice hoarse, his lips swollen, “what happened?”

I didn’t dare move.

Tamlin’s ruggedly handsome face turned white. He looked at me,  _really_  looked at me for the first time. “You’re real.” His hand traced the curve of my brow, the tip of my nose, down to the dip of my cupids bow. “You’re not a dream,” he breathed. “Tell me, I need to hear you say it.”

I rested a shaky hand on his cheek, feeling the bristle of hair along his jaw. Could it be as simple as that? Him simply thinking that what had happened between us was a dream? But that night was so real to me, the repercussions of it even more so. How could he believe that something like that was a product of his imagination? The downcast of his eyes told me that despite me being underneath him, Tamlin was in a very, very vulnerable position. “Do you want the honest village girl in front of her High Lord or Kadha, the one who has been waiting for you for nearly three years?” I couldn’t stop the shrillness tone leaking out of my voice. This was it, the moment I’ve been waiting for, the moment I dreaded. “Why didn’t you come back to find me?”

The sound of hooves pounding onto the hard ground silenced the both of us. For a second, I thought Tamlin would not get off of me—not until the distinct clip-clop of more hooves galloped towards us. He must have heard them from a mile away with his Face ears, yet he hadn’t bothered to care.

“Tamlin,” an old man’s voice warned. “Everyone’s coming back so I suggest you get off that young lady.”

Keeping his eyes on me, Tamlin nodded and got up so gracefully that it was as if his mind had left his body.

“Get decent, girl,” Dougal hissed at me, grabbing me by the arm to drag me on my feet. There was no time for me to wonder how such an old looking man had so much strength when Tamlin got between us and snarled.

“Be gentle,” he warned his voice not his own. He pulled Dougal to the side. “We need to have a word.”

I backed away from them. This was the Tamlin I didn’t know, the Tamlin that everyone talked about behind closed doors at the village.

Relief flooded my veins when Florrie appeared on the bend of the path, leading the woman behind her. She looked so fierce, so comfortable on her stallion that I instantly calmed. She took one look at me and jumped off. “What’s the matter?” Her hands found my dress and quickly made work with dusting off the dirt and leaves. “Did you take a fall?”

“I did.” It was sort of the truth.

“Are you alright?”

“She’s not,” Tamlin interrupted. “I’m bringing her back to the manor. You are all free to do as you please until dinner time.”

“But Tamlin, the rest of the women here have not had the pleasure of your time all day.” Dougal waved his hands in front of them for extra emphasis and they agreed in return. “Surely you’ll allow me to take her whilst you spend the rest of your day with these lovely ladies. It is your duty after all. Then please, come and talk to me.”

Tamlin looked like he was about to argue when Florrie stepped in between the two. “I’ll take her, High Lord. It’s no burden—I’d be glad to.”

“Then that settles it, lad. Get back on your steed and let’s get going,” Dougal said, already turning his horse around. “I must confess that we already had some of the food, I hope you don’t mind.”

Tamlin’s shadowed eyes found mine. He looked so defeated that I wanted to reassure him that I was really alright. Though I remained where I was as he brought Glenarder towards me. I held onto his shoulders as he lifted me by the waist and saddled me onto the horse. “Remember what I said. Trust him—and he will trust you.”

“Tamlin…”

“I’ll come back.”  _For you_  he seemed to say, knowing full well that there were eyes and ears on us.

“There’s something I have to tell you.”

“Then wait for me,” he said, before disappearing in the other direction.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

Florrie didn’t speak as I tried to keep up with her along the path, the blue sky slowly turning to orange behind us. We kept quiet as we saw the manor in the horizon, kept quiet as we entered the gates and kept quiet until we dismounted our horses and handed them over to the stable boy.

It wasn’t until she followed me back into my room and locked the door behind her that made me wary.

“What in the Cauldron was that?” she accused. “I thought you said he wasn’t into you?”

I kicked off my shoes and plopped down onto my bed with my feet dancing on the edge. “He’s not.”

“That’s not what I saw, Kadha and you know it.” She kicked off her shoes and did the same. “Even I know it. The way he looks at you isn’t right. That’s not how a High Lord looks at his potential wife.” She was so close that our arms pressed on each other. “Did you even fall off your horse? Or is that a lie too?”

“I was going to fall, but then Tamlin did that weird thing where he disappears.”

“You mean winnow?”

“Yeah, that,” I sighed. “Sometimes I forget how powerful he actually is.”

“Well, I don’t. Tell me again how much you hate our High Lord and don’t want anything to do with him.”

“You know what I’m going to say.”

“No, I don’t, Kadha. I thought you were here for the same reasons I was! I played along with you because it was fun because it was the only sense of normal I had in this place!”

I sat up from the bed at the same time she did. Her hair blazed in the light of the candles, matching the intensity of her features. My heart began to beat uncontrollably in my chest as I faced the wall of lies that I built here since I came. I was going to say something—another lie to get me out from telling the truth—when Florrie said the words I had been dreading since I came here.

“Zephyr told me everything.”

Those four words brought my world crashing down around me. If I had not been sitting down in the first place, I would have fallen on the ground. My palms began to sweat, my eyes prickling from the sudden rush of emotion.

“I know, Kadha,” she said so calmly like she wasn’t ripping my world apart piece by piece. “You could help us, don’t you understand what this means?”

My feet found the steady ground. This was real. “You are speaking treason,” I whispered to her, shock underlying my voice. “What you’re scheming is treason. You’re not here to marry the High Lord of Spring for love—you want his title, and you want to overthrow him! You could be killed for this.”

Florrie got up, her face barely inches from mine. “It’s worth it, to die for a cause. The Spring Court needs to be brought down for it to rise back up to the court that we deserve!”

I took a step away from her. “Don’t you think this court has had enough? With the lies and the deceit and the suffering? We don’t need this,” I pleaded, trying to make her see reason. “He’s trying, Florrie. I see it in him. He’s been doing so well, the court has been thriving. Give him a chance.”

She shook her head. “This is exactly what we need, Kadha. Tamlin is done. This whole scheme of his to marry a girl from the village is the Spring Court’s idea of getting back into our good graces and it’s a joke. He needs to be overthrown. He was the reason for the suffering, he was the reason for the deaths,” her eyes shone like steel and I took another step away from her until my back was to the wall. “Can’t you see that you have the key to making this possible? He doesn’t even know,” she laughed.

“Don’t you dare come anywhere near him,” I spat at her. “I don’t care what you’re scheming, but you’re not dragging us into this.” My hand searched and searched and searched until it found the cool round metal.

Florrie didn’t stop me as I twisted the knob of the door. Her orange hair was the last I saw before I ran and ran and ran. Bursting through the main doors of the Spring Court, I sighed with relief at the little sliver of daylight left. I didn’t know what to think, other than the need to get to him, to make sure he was alright.

My feet hit the pavement, not trusting myself enough to saddle Glenarder on my own. I fought off the prickling in my eyes. I was a fool for getting myself into this. I knew I shouldn’t have come, I knew I should have ignored that invitation. But when the letter came from the High Lord of the Spring Court himself, I didn’t have a chance. I wanted to go, despite telling myself that I was better off ignoring it—and yet still I went. Now, look what’s happened.

This time, there was no stopping the tears that came. I could barely see as I made my way home. Deep fear rooted itself inside me. I was drowning in my thoughts, thinking up of all the awful things that could have happened while I was away enjoying myself when I should have just stayed.

Strong arms caught me mid stride, causing me to scream in surprise. I easily fell into him, the scent of wildflowers invading my senses.

“What’s wrong?” he breathed, his callused finger wiping a stray tear away. “And don’t say you’re fine. Be honest with me, lassie.”

I didn’t know what else to say, so I did as he asked. I said the truth. I owed it to him and I owed it to Tamlin. “It’s your son,” I said. “He’s in danger.”


	4. “Will you have me, lassie?”

“My… son?” he repeated mindlessly. His arms tightened their hold on me. “I have a son?”

My heart squeezed. This wasn’t how I wanted to tell him, this wasn’t even close to how I imagined it would happen if it ever did. “Listen Tamlin, I want to tell you everything about him, but please, we have to—” I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence. Both of our heads whipped towards the sky, where a cloud of smoke rose towards the orange sky. My mouth dropped. I couldn’t move. I was speechless. That was the direction of my cottage.

It was as if time had stopped. I had no recollection of what was happening around me. Somehow, I was on Tamlin’s back—my arms and legs wrapped around him—as he raced on all fours. Though this wasn’t the Tamlin that I was familiar with. This was his beast form under me, rippling with power as he surged forward with unnatural speed.

We were there in seconds, or minutes, I couldn’t tell. Even before getting close to the cottage, the smell hit me first. It was the crackling of fire over wood, the waft of burning metal and waste. I couldn’t breathe. There was too much smoke, too many people and I felt myself crumbling along with it.

The crowd that had gathered in front of my cottage parted as they saw the High Lord of Spring in his gigantic form. I slipped off his back, my mouth tasting the salty tears running down my cheeks as I looked up at my home turn to ash and smoke. My knees hit the gravel. There was barely anything left of it. Nobody came close to me as I wept, as my whole world disintegrated in front of my very eyes. Suddenly, the bright orange flames blew with a strong gust of wind.

Tamlin knelt on both knees in front of me, shifting back to his Fae self. He held me by the shoulders, keeping me afloat. I welcomed that feeling of turning into shadow and mist, only to end up in a dark alley, away from prying eyes.

“Kadha.” I could barely see his face through the haze of tears. “Your family could still be alive.”

“But—”  _they’re dead_  I wanted to shout, but the words were lost in a sob.

His grip tightened on my shoulder. Not enough to hurt, but strong enough to shake me back to the present. My cottage was still in ashes, the village people were watching with horrid looks whilst Tamlin protected me from the commotion. Soot stained his face and his brows were drawn low, his mouth was moving, his arms were shaking me. The ringing in my ears cleared to hear his voice. “Come back to me,” he said again and again. “I’m right here.”

I wasn’t alone. There was someone here with me. I blinked back my tears.

“Kadha.” Tamlin held my face between his hands, stopping me from looking at the little remnants of my home. This was real. This was happening. “Kadha, we might not have much time. There was no one in that house. They could have fled. Do you understand what I’m saying?” For the second time today, he wiped the tears staining my face. “Our son could still be alive, lassie.”

“Our son?”

“Yes,” he chuckled, silver lining his eyes. “We have to hurry—the sun will set soon.”

“But what can we do?”

“Do you have anything that was his? I can use it to track him.”

Despite the chaos happening around us, my mind reeled at the memories from last night. I scrambled for my pockets, releasing a breath when I felt its soft touch between my fingers. “I took this with me when I went home yesterday.” I pulled out the small, cotton handkerchief and placed it in Tamlin’s outstretched hand. His eyes found mine before he slowly lifted the handkerchief towards his face. It took a matter of seconds.

Tamlin stood up and shifted. His wet nose lifted in the clear sky. I tried to stifle the growing hope in my heart, tried to tell myself that I shouldn’t depend on him. I was fragile. It was still uncertain whether he wanted me, or our baby. There was still so much we had yet to talk about.

“I’ve got it,” he said, his voice more animal than Fae. “I’m going.” He moved so quickly that I could barely keep up behind him.

“Take me with you,” I begged.

Tamlin paused. “It’s dangerous, lassie.”

“I don’t care.”

“How do you think I’ll feel when my son and the woman who carried him are in danger?” he spat out. “I can’t let that happen.”

“Is that all I am to you? Just the woman who bore your child?

“Kadha.” The way he said my name was like a plea in itself. “I need both of you to be safe—I can’t lose any of you.”

“You’re losing me now, Tamlin.” I matched the steel in his eyes. “Take me with you.”

He ran his hands over his face in defeat. “This isn’t easy for me,” he said, before shifting into his beast form. He bent down in front of me. “Be careful and stay close to me.”

As soon as I was secured on Tamlin’s back, he ran and ran and ran, putting distance between us and what little remained of my cottage. We passed the borders of the village and reached the endless expanse of flat hills and grasslands which lead to the Spring Court highlands. Despite everything looking exactly the same everywhere you look, Tamlin knew where he was going. His speed was brutal, his powers igniting him forward. I kept my senses on alert—even as he alternated from running to winnowing—and tried my hardest to spot something, anything in front of me.

I heard them before I saw their silhouettes in the distance. A familiar dark haired figure led farthest out, galloping atop a brown horse whilst three others were in pursuit of him. The sight chilled me to the bone. There was no mistaking who that was. In his panic, it was already too late for Zephyr to realise that the trio was getting into positions, cornering him towards a thicket of trees. He would never get through them alive. The trees were too wide and too close together for him to get through. Though turning right would mean heading right across another rider, whilst turning left would meet the same fate. There was really only one thing he could do. He turned his horse around to face the three oncoming riders. I let out a sharp intake of breath as I made out what he cradled close to him. “That’s them.”  _They were alive._

Tamlin didn’t miss a thing. He hurriedly placed me down on the ground, never taking his eyes off Zephyr. The three riders were closing in on him and he had nowhere to go. I didn’t object as Tamlin winnowed away wordlessly. He needed to get there more than I did, but that didn’t mean that I was supposed to stay away. I had only begun to start running towards them in the mere seconds it took Tamlin to get in front of Zephyr, his dagger like claws out in full display. Even from a distance, there was no mistaking the sheer size and brutality of Tamlin’s beast form towering over their horses.

I  didn’t know how well Tamlin would take to seeing me coming closer and closer, but I couldn’t just stand there and watch him risk his life for my—for  _our_ _—_ family. I was still a good distance away when he faced off with the closest Fae in front of him who was armed to the tee. In fact, they all were.

Tamlin didn’t waste any time toying with his opponent. He winnowed and appeared right in front of the Fae where he grabbed onto their shoulder and ripped out their neck. The Fae's headless body had barely fallen on the ground before his companion met the same fate. With only one Fae left, Tamlin paused and said a few words. His mouth was clearly moving, though the Fae in front of him was too smart to take the bait.

Behind him, Zephyr’s focus alternated between watching the beast of a High Lord spill blood and me making my way towards him. He began to move his hand and I strained to understand what his gestures meant.

The distraction caused me. I skidded along the grass, my feet losing traction on the slippery surface. I softly landed on my knees in the wet grass, though it was enough sound to alert the Fae in the distance. That one glance was enough for him to realise that I was a sitting duck. He spurred his horse towards me and took Tamlin by surprise when he jumped off the moving animal. To say that my adrenaline forced me to remember the little things Zephyr trained me to do during combat was a lie. I was a useless fighter. Instead, my body locked up, watching on in terror as he charged towards me, before quickly shutting them. Just make it quick, I thought. In mere seconds, I distinctly heard the sound of someone call my name, before the Fae dropped face first on the grass, screaming in pain. Behind him was an arrow stuck to his upper thigh.

Tamlin lowered his bow and breathed hard through his nose. He collected something from a stray horse and made his way to me, fussing over every little thing.

“I’m fine.” And it was the truth.

“Count yourself lucky, because I’m in a trusting mood, lassie.” He kissed my forehead and began to work on wrapping the rope around the screaming Fae. Grabbing the forgotten sword on the ground, he whacked the pummel of it on the Fae’s head, knocking him out cold. He swung his head at the sound of hooves coming our way and froze as Zephyr hopped down from his horse with a bundle of cloth in his arms. The two stood eye to eye, Zephyr matching Tamlin’s height perfectly. Though he was clearly not as filled in as the High Lord, he stood his ground, his back straight, his head held high.

Tamlin’s nose flared. “I’ve met you before.” His blonde brows drew close together. “You were a fine Sentinel in my court. What happened to you?”

My heart cracked at the look Zephyr sent my way. I instantly made my way and wrapped my myself around him, sandwiching the sleeping baby in his arms. “Someone had to take care of her and the kid, High Lord,” he eventually replied.

Tamlin looked like he’d been slapped. For a second, I thought he would lash out. Though his features softened at the word  _kid_  because that was his kid they were talking about, being held protectively by Zephyr. He bowed his head, defeat written all over his features. “There is no excuse,” he said clearly. “I should have been there and I wasn’t.”

“Tamlin,” I began to say, wanting to explain to him that I was ready to listen, I was ready for him to explain when I heard the soft sounds of sleepy mumbling in Zephyrs arms. Instinctively, I reached towards him, just as it had ceased.

“He can sleep through anything,” Zephyr murmured before handing him over. “We shouldn’t stay here for long. There may be more of them coming and we’re unarmed with a child.” The corner of his mouth lifted up. You wouldn’t have noticed it if you didn’t know him, though I knew that last phrase was a jab at me and not my son.

Tamlin, seeming to come out of his trance, tore his gaze from what I held in my arms. He focused towards the clearing. “Night has nearly set, so we can use it to our advantage. I can’t winnow us all back to the manor, but I can take all of us as far as I can with our horses.”

“No,” Zephyr shook his head, not accepting any of it. “Take Kadha. Make sure she’s safe—make sure they’re both safe.” Zephyr picked up the plain, silver sword Tamlin had used to knock out the Fae on the ground. “I’ll take this piece of rubbish back to the manor, High Lord. I want to do the questioning myself.”

I shivered at his tone. It had nearly been two years since Zephyr had been on duty and yet he still acted like was a Sentinal. I suppose that the saying was true. Old habits do die hard. He was still a skilled fighter and he loved his job, yet he turned his back on all of it for me.

Tamlin simply nodded, the gesture more sincere than anything I had ever seen him do. It was a soldier thanking another fellow soldier. “You have to let me properly thank you once we clean up this mess.”

“You can count on it, High Lord.” They both acknowledge the unconscious Fae on the ground and seemed to communicate without words.

“I’ll make sure a scout will meet you half way. And as soon as you come back, a room will be ready for you.”

“Make it two—I need to bring my brother.”

“Two it is then,” Tamlin confirmed, raising a smile from Zephyr.

He reached for me and gave me a small hug. “I’ll bring Frankie to the manor. He’ll be so excited to get out of that cottage.”

I nodded, too content with the moment to be the bearer of bad news. Our exchange was brief. We knew all too well that we had so many things to say to each other, but it wasn’t the right time or place. “Be safe,” I murmured and squeezed him for another hug, saying a thousand things that I didn’t need to voice.

Tamlin unsaddled the three horses we didn’t need and let them free, before helping Zephyr secure the Fae onto his own horse. We watched side by side as Zephyr took off into the darkening sky until he was just a small dot in the distance. Tamlin’s hand found mine in the dark. I closed my eyes, only to open them and find myself inside his room. I looked around. It was obviously his, with its large king size bed and scrolls and scrolls of paper strewn about. Despite them, the room was kept immaculate, almost as if he didn’t spend much time in here at all.

A commotion outside brought us back to the present. There were gathering voices coming closer and closer before a knock sounded on the door.

“Don’t come in,” Tamlin warned.

The knock sounded again. “Please. It’s important, High Lord.”

He ran his fingers through his loose hair and sighed. “I’ll be back,” he said, before hesitating. He cleared his throat, “does he ugh, need anything? Some soup or bread to eat?”

I found my lips pull up into a small smile. “Our son’s name is Ruairi. He’s nearly two, but he needs soft foods. If you have any fruit, especially bananas then please bring them over. And we’ll also need fresh linen and pins, just in case he has an accident.”

I don’t think Tamlin heard anything I said after I announced our son’s name. He stilled continued to roll each letter on his tongue, the expression in his face so content that I didn’t want to ruin the moment. He gave me a face splitting grin, before winnowing and leaving me to myself.

I heaved a sigh the moment I let Ruairi down in the middle of the bed. He was getting so big that it was almost impossible for me to hold him for long periods of time. I grabbed some pillows resting along the headboard and arranged it around him so he couldn't roll out of the bed in his sleep.

Spotting the fireplace in the room, I was about to kindle a fire when the shiny curve of a wooden instrument caught my eye. I let my fingers traced along the smooth body, before gently stroking the four strings. I smiled. They were tightly wound and perfectly tuned. Leaving it as is, I picked the flint and lit the fireplace, dusting the soot off my hands before sprawling myself up on the bed beside Ruairi. I propped my head up with one arm and used the other to run my hands through his dark hair. It was so strange to see his jet black hair with brows so blonde.

The Cauldron knew I was trying to distract myself. I was keenly aware of the fact that I was still shielding Ruairi away from Tamlin. I knew he was being respectful by keeping a safe distance away, but I was desperate for him to show me how he felt about our baby. What if Tamlin didn’t love him? I blew out a breath. I partly blamed myself too. I was scared of making the wrong move that I hadn’t done anything at all. I didn’t want to shove the responsibility of our son to him. I didn’t want him to feel burdened by us—didn’t want the pressure of having a child force us together.

My eyes lifted up to find Tamlin watching us silently, his expression unreadable.

“I’m trying very hard,” he whispered, his voice so soft that I could barely hear him, “to keep away from you. The moment I saw you, the moment I inhaled your scent, the moment we danced, the moment we kissed.” He paused, studying Rauiri contently sleeping on his back. “I have so many regrets in my life, Kadha but none as worse as not being there for you when you needed me most.”

“Then where were you, Tamlin?”

“Would you believe me,” he began, “if I told you that I thought it was too good to be true, to lay with someone so perfect one night only to wake up and find them gone? I thought you were a dream I had made up. No one saw you. It was like you only existed in my mind. As time went on, I believed it more and more and more until the only thing I remembered was your scent that day in the garden. It was lavender and something else—”

I laughed, trying to fight back the prickling in my eyes. “It’s bananas—the scent you mentioned. Lavender and bananas, because Rauiri—”

“Ruairi loves bananas,” he finished, his smile matching mine. He suddenly came down on one knee in front of me, taking one of my hands in his. “I need you and I need Ruairi and I need this future with our family. I want to be with you, every step of the way.”

I didn’t think I breathed. I looked at our son—his long lashes fluttering as he sucked his thumb in his sleep—and back down at Tamlin, kneeling in front of me. There was no doubt that our child was a High Lord’s son—in every way imaginable—and, sure, I was more than capable of raising him by himself. But how could I deny Rauiri the chance to learn about love from both his parents? Tamlin wanted this, just as much as I did. It was the first step in the unknown, and we were doing it together. “There are a lot of late nights,” I said, “and crying and tantrums and you’ll constantly be functioning on two hours of sleep.”

“I don’t care.”

“And you have to do everything he asks of you. You have to take him wherever he wants to go, you have to teach him how to read, how to write,” my eyes flicked up along the fireplace directly behind him, “and you have to teach him how to play the fiddle.”

He chuckled, pulling me off the bed to straddle him on the ground. We were so close that I felt every hard edge of him. “Will you have me, lassie?”

I didn’t realise how much I needed to hear those words, even now. They were the very things that would keep me up at night, tossing and turning, wondering  _what if._ But now, as I looked into his eyes, I didn’t have to wonder anymore. I pressed my lips into his. It was answer enough. In fact, it was the best answer I could ever give him.

He groaned as my tongue explored his. It had been so long since I was intimate with anyone. His calloused hands cupped my face as he took our kiss deeper. I wound my legs tightly behind his back, forcing him to push up against me so that all his hard parts grinded into my soft ones. I impatiently tugged his tunic up and off him, tossing it on the floor. My hands traveled along the rigid planes of his abs, before coming down low to trace the hardness pressing on his trousers. “I missed this,” I said into his mouth. When he didn’t object, I wiggled my hands down the hem of his pants.

Tamlin’s hand gently pried mine away. “I want to taste you first,” he growled into my ear, leaning forward on the ground so that I was able to transition onto my back. The crackling of the fireplace was the only sound between us. His hooded gaze met mine as his hands came up under my dress and all the way up to my panties. He gently stroked the sensitive, throbbing spot between my legs before drawing his hand back on my dress and pulling it apart. The distinct sound of cloth tearing echoed in the room. And just like that, I lay under his gaze, almost bare to the bone.

“Beautiful,” he whispered as he leaned on all fours over me. He kissed my lips slowly, taking his time to remember every nip and suck that would make me cry out. Then, he slowly trailed his tongue along my jaw and down my neck, making his painfully slow way down to my aching nipples, before finding home between my legs. He pulled my panties down my legs, his eyes lighting up to find out that I was more than ready for him.

“Careful, High Lord,” I breathed, “the last time we were in this position, we made a baby.”

“I don’t mind, lassie,” he chuckled, his mouth coming lower to suck on the throbbing ball of nerve. I was about to scream from that one touch, but his hand clamped down on my mouth just in time. He put his finger up to his mouth, a playful smile on his face and by the Cauldron, if that wasn’t the sexiest thing I had ever seen. He licked his lips and went back to burying his face between my legs, enjoying the way I cried out in his hand every time glided his tongue along my folds.

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling myself coming close to the edge. “I need you inside me, Tamlin.”

He instantly stopped and lifted his head between my legs. “Say that again,” he rasped, kneeling beside me so I could get a full glimpse of his length along his pants.

I sat up. “I need you hard inside me.”

“Show me.”

The challenge in his eyes undid me. Without much thought, I pulled Tamlin’s pants off, his cock springing free from its hold and marveled at the beauty of him. I stroked his hard on with one hand and gently pushed him down so his back was flat on the ground. His hands found my breasts and squeezed, just as I saddled him and guided his length inside me. We both grunted in pleasure.

My hips slowly rocked against him while I adjusted to his size. I took my time, enjoying the way he looked and sounded under me, before quickening the rhythm. Tamlin made an animalistic noise as I thrust harder and harder, rocking him under me. Tamlin’s hands squeezed me between the waist, keeping our rhythm going.

I leaned back, enjoying the way he felt at that angle and closed my eyes. “Tamlin,” I groaned before opening my eyes to find him watching me. The hunger in his eyes shone loud and clear. I brought him up to my chest so we were face to face, and thrust faster. His mouth instantly found my neck, his canines pulling on the skin before coming down to suck on my nipples. “Tamlin,” I groaned again, entwining my fingers between the long strands of his hair.

“Cum for me,” he snarled softly into my ear, holding me so close that we were chest to chest. Tamlin’s hand went over my mouth and he continued to suck on my nipples. I pounded against him harder and harder, pulling on his hair, coming closer and closer until the shudder of release exploded through my body. Tamlin continued to grip my waist tightly with both hands, thrusting and thrusting as I rode out my orgasm before he slammed his lips back onto mine, stifling the growl that came out as he released into me.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

I woke sometime in the early morning to the sound of laughter and mumbling. It was something that I imagined the heavens would sound. My body was comfortably soft and warm—and  _naked_ —under the blankets. Tamlin must have carried me to bed last night after we… made love? I didn’t know what our label was yet, but watching him now, sitting on the floor whispering and playing with our son made my heart sing.

Ruairi was on his back, laughing uncontrollably as Tamlin blew into his tiny round stomach to make bubbling noises. They were both shirtless and only wearing pants. The two were completely alike in every way save for their hair colour.

“Ruairi?” he murmured, testing out our son’s name in his lips like he still couldn’t believe it.

“Yeees?” Ruairi flashed a toothy smile at him.

Tamlin chuckled. “I won’t ever leave you, Little Wolf,” he said, before bending down and blowing on Ruairi's stomach again, and this time, Ruairi squealed and grabbed onto Tamlin’s loose hair. It only took that split second, before Ruairi's black hair turned to blonde—matching his father’s.

Tamlin reeled back. “What in the Cauldron?”

“Wut in tha Kaldren?” Ruairi mimicked before finding his feet and running face first into Tamlin’s bare chest. He tried to make the same noise Tamlin had made to him, but all he managed to do was dribble all over Tamlin’s chest.

I couldn’t hold in the laughter that bubbled out of me. Ruairi, forever the noisy kid, screamed at the sight of me making grabby hands and hid beside Tamlin. I laughed again, finding Tamlin’s tunic and slipped it over my head. I made my way over and beside Tamlin so that we were both leaning against the bed, facing the crackling fireplace.

Tamlin reached for my hand. “He can shift.”

“Yup. That’s what got us busted in the first place.”

“What else can he do?”

“That’s all for now,” I said, watching Rauiri play hide and seek with me behind Tamlin’s shoulder. Every time he appeared, I tried to pull him towards me, but he was too quick to catch.

“I fed him some bananas,” Tamlin said casually, not realising the bad choice of words he had used. Ruairi instantly perked up at the word ‘bananas.’ There was nothing Tamlin could do but stay still as Ruairi's little fingers tried to find the banana he thought Tamlin was hiding. “He had  _five_. That’s not normal, lassie. The kitchen staff was judging me every time I had to go back down to grab another piece of fruit.”

“You should know that we never say the ‘b’ word in front of him or else he gets like this.” I barked out a laugh, watching Tamlin lift his arm up as Ruairi checked under his armpits if he had anything there. When he realised he didn’t, Ruairi went lower. “He’s about to grab your hidden fruit if you don’t stop him.”

In the knick of time, Tamlin lifted Rauiri off of him and held him up. His expression grew serious as soon as he saw Rauiri— _really_  saw him—for the first time.

“He has your hair colour by birth, but he loves to change it to black when he’s hanging out with us.”

“And the eyes?”

“Ice?” Ruairi repeated, before stuffing his thumb into his mouth and coming down to lay on Tamlin’s lap. He pawed the ends of Tamlin’s hair contently with his other free hand.

“Those are his normal eyes.” Green on the right, and brown on the left. “Yours and mine. But at the moment, he’s all yours,” I sighed. “He’s so smitten with you. It must be all the fruit you gave him.”

Tamlin shrugged. “Or he could just think I’m a pretty cool dad?”

“Dah?” Ruairi mindlessly repeated as he continued to play with Tamlin’s hair.

Tamlin reached over to guide my head onto his shoulder. We both didn’t acknowledge the fact that he had said the d-a-d word. “You gotta watch what you say around him. He’s very absorbent at this age.”

“Duly noted,” he chuckled. “But, I think he kind of figured it out as soon as he woke up and saw me. He’s very smart and very, very loud.”

We watched Ruairi for a second, happy in our own bubble until I the events of last night hit me. “Has Zephyr come back?”

“He came back with your younger brother while you were asleep. I’ve set up they’re their own separate rooms.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked him. “I suppose you and Zephyr are going to interrogate that Fae from yesterday.”

“We need to find out who was behind the attack in your house, lassie. Zephyr hadn’t known about it until I mentioned. But, I’ve offered him his position back at court. You know you are all welcome to stay in the manor for as long as you want.”

“Zephyr would never have that,” I thought out loud. Then something else struck me. “What are you going to do about Florrie?”

Tamlin squeezed my hand. “She left last night. No one was hurt. She left quietly, saying that she didn’t want to be here anymore. Nobody is questioning it.”

“What are you going to do?” I whispered, knowing full well that Tamlin could do anything he wanted to.

“I know she’s your friend, lassie. I’m looking into it, but everything is quiet. Her cause may have been personal—it may not have been big enough to start a rebellion. It doesn’t matter. We’ll deal with it when it happens. I can’t just kill everyone who wants me to step down from my position. Trust me, I didn’t want this position in the first place.” He looked down in his lap, finding Rauiri fast asleep, clutching his hair like a stuffed toy. “I’m scared for him. What if he grows up and he doesn't want to be High Lord of Spring?”

My heart cracked at his tone. I was ashamed to know nothing about his past to understand why he felt this way. There must have been a reason. “You have to tell me everything about your childhood, Tamlin. I’m ready to hear them. And maybe that will help us understand how to handle our own child.” When he didn’t smile, I nudged his shoulder. “Stop being so broody. Maybe we should make another baby just in case then?”

“Not a bad idea,” he laughed, though there was no denying the seriousness in his expression.

Someone suddenly knocked on the door, stirring Rauiri awake and making me jump. Tamlin tightened his hold on him, before calling out, “I’m busy.”

“Beezy!” Ruairi screamed out before he got up and rolled around on the floor, all the while repeating the new word he had just learned.

Ruairi was so loud that we didn’t even hear the door swing open. My heart nearly fell out of my chest. “Can you at least say it’s you!”

Zephyr shrugged. “I’m only here for nanny duty.”

I looked at Tamlin, my eyes reducing to slits. “Nanny duty? What are you planning, High Lord?”

Tamlin pretended to look innocent, but it made him look more awkward than anything else. I shook my head. “I can’t believe you’re a High Lord,” I said under my breath.

The smouldering look Tamlin sent my way made me want to melt into the ground.

“So, anyways, can I just have Rauiri so I don’t have to watch my sister flirt with her lover?”

“Lava?” Ruairi asked Zephyr as he tried to stand upside-down on his head. “Where?”

“Everywhere,” Zephyr replied back and lifted him up. “Now, say good bye to your parents.”

When Ruairi only waved to Tamlin, I sighed. “Just go, Zeph. He’s ignoring me today.” I was about to sulk off before Ruairi reached over in Zephyr’s arms and gave me a peck on the lips. I ruffled his hair and watched him disappear with Zephyr.

Closing the door behind them, I leaned my head back closed my eyes, taking in the gravity of the situation. It was cut short at the sound of Tamlin getting dressed. “You’re not even going to have a bath?” I scrunched my face at him. “But we stink.”

“There’s no time,” was his only reply.

I crossed my arms.

Tamlin instantly stopped trying to readjust his pants and walked towards me. For Cauldron’s sake, he still wasn’t wearing a shirt. How does one even stay mad at that? “Breakfast is being served now, just as everything is continuing as normal. Then, we’ll get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“We’re having another garden party.”


	5. Chapter 5

I fiddled with the ends of Tamlin’s tunic in front of the crackling fire place, trying to figure out what to say. I had been nervous about this day for so long. It was a looming cloud over me, never letting me go until I acknowledged it.

“What’s wrong, lassie?” Noticing my unease, he came closer and gently lifted my chin up to meet his eyes.

“How—” I took a deep breath to gather my thoughts. “Tamlin, I don’t know how to say this to you… I’m not immortal. I’m not going to look young forever.

His body tensed at my words.

“I’m going to get old and then I’m going to die.”

Tamlin drew me closer and stroked my cheek. “Don’t, for one second think that this doesn’t cross my mind every single day.” His voice was hoarse, a silent promise tangled between each word. “But I can tell you now that I’m not ashamed to have you by my side, no matter what happens. I want you as my partner—as my equal—and I want to tell every single person in Prythian that I have a son and it was with you.” He drew away, just enough so that the light from the fire illuminated the hard lines and ridges of his body.

My breath hitched—the happiness I had felt smashed into a million pieces. I slowly reached over Tamlin’s chest and ran my finger along the strip of a faint, white scar that ran along the middle of his chest. The skin was raised, the scar long and seemingly deep. How had I missed this in the few times we had been intimate? I couldn’t stop my own heart from racing at the sight of it. I looked up at Tamlin watching me under hooded lids and slowly placed my palm over the scar. His heart thundered under my touch. “So it’s true then?” My voice shook with every word.

Tamlin gave me a slight nod, as if he too was trying to keep himself together. We were so close that if I lifted my head high enough, my lips would find his. He didn’t dare speak, and I knew then, that deep down, he still felt this scar.

“How could this happen to you? How were you even capable of love if your heart was made out of stone?”

He placed his hand over mine, as if it would stop his raging heart from bleeding onto the floor. “I couldn’t—wasn’t capable of love.”

“And after? When it did come back?”

“It still wasn’t love, lassie.”

My free hand came over my mouth. I couldn’t even imagine how it would feel to be heartless. Sure, you could love with your emotions, but the heart is part of your soul. It was the part of you that amplified your feelings, the part of you that spurred you on to  _feel_. “And now?”

“This,” he whispered, pulling me close so that I couldn’t tell where his body and mine began, “is real. What you feel now for me, is how I feel for you. But, it wasn’t always like this— _I_ wasn’t always like this. I still… there are nights where I still… wake up from it—the terrors of what I’d done—what it had cost my court. I was selfish, lassie. I didn’t think about anyone else—I wasn’t ho—”

“I’ll still be here when you’re eventually ready to tell me everything, Tamlin. That was in the past, but what I see now is someone who is ready to be forgiven. And this,” I said, stroking his scar, “will pass in time. I’ll be here. I’ll help you heal—and Ruairi—he’ll teach you how to love in his own special way.” Going on my tippy-toes, I pressed a soft kiss on his lips. “Forgive yourself, Tamlin. You deserve happiness.”

It was like the walls Tamlin had kept up for so long crumbled down with each word I spoke. He kissed me back hard, his tongue doing things that forced my eyes closed from pleasure. His lips brushed against mine, full and luscious as I arched my back into him. This was real, I reminded myself. His hand brushed the inner of my thighs, sucking in a breath when he felt just how much I wanted him in this moment.

Both of us locked up as a knock sounded on the door.

He tore his lips away from mine just enough to growl a reply. “Don’t come in.”

I shook my head with a laugh. “Why do you say that? You know, they never listen to you.” And sure enough, the door opened, despite Tamlin’s words. He wrapped a protective hand around me, well aware that I wasn’t wearing pants whilst he too was shirtless.

“By the Cauldron,” the old man exclaimed.

“What is it now, Dougal?”

“Oh my, yes well I’ll be quick,” he cleared his throat. “Just wanted to say breakfast is ready, Tamlin. Best not be late. The ladies are already waiting.” His wrinkled eyes raked us up and down, before he retreated his head from the opening of the door like the image of us together had burned his eyes.

Tamlin grinned down at me as soon as the door clicked shut. “I thought he was going to have a heart attack at the sight of us.”

“I’m just glad we didn’t have to explain Ruari if he were here.” I bit my lip, the quietness between us stretching. “I should probably do as the old man says and get myself ready. Don’t want you to be late.” I pulled away from his embrace, only to be stopped short.

His hot breath tickled my ear. “I’m not done kissing you yet.”

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

I suggested to Tamlin that we arrive separately for breakfast. Having us arrive late and together was unfair for the other women, especially when it was too obvious what we had done. Tamlin’s lips were still swollen from our kisses, and I sported a little love bite that I tried to hide with the collar of my dress. So I entered the dining hall well after him and the others. Everyone was already seated and chatting, looking lovely as always whilst I wore my typical slip dress.

Tamlin’s gaze met mine as I found a seat furthest from him along the table. The women had already occupied all the seats closest to him. I couldn’t blame them. Wearing his casual cream tunic and pants, Tamlin simply looked radiant and handsome. Despite his messy, tousled hair, he was relaxed, approachable and friendly. He looked  _happy_.

Smiling, I helped myself to some sausages and bacon and chewed slowly, tuning out his piercing gaze and the women’s lingering voices. I wondered what Ruairi was doing now with Zephyr. Were they comfortable here? Were they settling into court well? The images last night played in mind—the lick of flames devouring our home as I could do nothing but watch. My fork stopped midway between my plate and my mouth. It hit me then. I was homeless. I had no home—Ruairi had no home.

It was hard to ignore the questioning glance Tamlin instantly sent my way. I sent him a slight shake of my head to let him know he had nothing to worry about. Only,  _I_  did. At the end of this competition, one of the women here will marry Tamlin. How certain was I that it would be me? The sudden twist in my heart longed for a friend to talk to. I wished Florrie were here, just for this instant, so that she could make a shrewd comment to cut the tension. I should have seen the change in her heart from the beginning, but I was too caught up in my own personal issues that I had overlooked everything about her. In part, I wasn’t there for her. I should have understood where she was coming from, should have asked her to stay and explain to her how much Tamlin has changed. But how much of those words would have fallen on deaf ears? I clenched the fork between my hands. At what lengths should Tamlin go to in order to persuade her that he is a better High Lord?

“Has the bacon done anything bad to deserve your daggers, lassie?”

I smoothly placed my fork down and smiled sweetly at him. Tamlin’s tone was playful, but the crease in his eyes told me that he was everything but. I didn’t want him to worry. “I’m just deeply upset that I was late for breakfast, High Lord. I was kept up all night,” I sad, smiling like a cat the moment he froze. “You wouldn’t believe how little sleep I had.”

“Why were you up so late?” he asked, his voice deep and hoarse. The women in the table watched our exchange back and forth.

“Oh, it was nothing,” I said as casually as I could. “Just had to take care of a few things. You know,” I shrugged, “it was really nothing  _I_  couldn’t handle.” I wiggled my fingers at him.

Tamlin nearly choked on his drink. Some of the women giggled. “And did you?” he asked after composing himself. He was willing to play today. “Finished… taking care of those things?”

I held my glass to my lips and sipped, welcoming the heat trickle down my throat, knowing full well that Tamlin’s gaze was at my throat. I swallowed the liquid slowly, savouring the taste in my mouth. “Mhh hmm,” I answered. I enjoyed this Tamlin. He was awkward and clumsy and easily embarrassed. I smiled at him, knowing all too well that I was going to have to pay for this one way or the other. A throbbing started between my legs at the thought of Tamlin, getting his way with me and he, always watching, didn’t notice it one bit.

“What do you have planned for us, Tamlin?” the woman sitting closest to him suddenly asked. She leaned closer, breathing in his aroused scent like he was her. A sudden urge to pull her out of her seat by her hair erupted in me. I had to grip the table to calm myself. Where had that come from?

Tamlin cleared his throat and sat back away from her. “Actually, I have something to announce to you all. Today, I will choose who my bride will be.”

Everyone instantly stopped eating and gawked at him. “But, it’s only been three days, High Lord!” she looked around. “Some of us had barely even spent time with you.”

“I understand your disappointment, Blaire. And I want to both thank you and apologise to you all at the same time.” He looked around at everyone except me, almost as if to say that it hadn’t been them who he had picked. “This was more of a shock to me than all of you combined. I was not expecting to fall in love so easily. The woman who I have come to know here had always been someone who I had admired. I have always dreamed of her, even in the past. And now that our paths have once again crossed, I don’t think I can let her go and I certainly don’t need anymore time to figure out what I want.”

I don’t think I breathed.

“The garden party will start during midday, when the sun is the highest. I ask all of you to come, though if you are not up for it, you are very welcome to leave now. ”

It was so silent that you could probably hear a pin drop from across the room.

Dougal chose to come in at that exact moment, and instantly noticed the mood. Instead of entering, he motioned Tamlin over.

Tamlin, who was probably more than happy to leave, got up. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, ladies,” he said. “I have a few things to get through. Enjoy the rest of your meal.”

It was almost impossible for me to close my mouth from shock. That had been brutal. I watched Tamlin like a hawk as he excited the room without acknowledging me. I scrunched my face. He was up to something.

Without a second thought, I got up and followed him out. My heart raced as I turned the corner towards his room, though I barely made it two steps up the stairs when I slammed into a body. The familiar scent of wildflowers engulfed my senses. I squealed as Tamlin lifted me off the ground and twirled me. “What took you so long?” he asked into my neck, inhaling my scent.

“I didn’t know I was supposed to follow you,” I said breathlessly, before he took my hand and playfully pulled me along behind him. I swatted his hands away every time he tried to reach over to tickle my sides. “What’s gotten into you?”

We passed the front doors of the manor and made our way through the busy garden as the people of the court got ready for the party. I knew where we were headed the moment I heard the trickling of water and saw the walls lined with wildflowers. Tamlin brought me closer towards the running water and sat me on the edge of the fountain. He kneeled in front of me, taking both my hands in his. I smiled down at him. “Why do you love holding my hands so much, High Lord?”

He casually shrugged. “It’s soft and real. It calms me, knowing that you’re here.”

It was quiet for a moment between us as his hair swayed in the wind along with the wildflowers. “You have gold flecks in your eyes,” I said mindlessly. The spray of the water reflected off his face, making his tanned complexion come alive like a late Spring sun. “Has anyone noticed?”

He chuckled. “Are you nervous, lassie?”

“Maybe.” I felt my cheeks heat as I nodded. “What are you planning?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” I said, earning a chuckle from him at my brashness. “I don’t have to pretend anymore, Tamlin. I trust you.”

“Then get dressed. A lady-in-waiting will meet you in your room. She’ll help you get ready and I’ll meet you soon. Do you understand what I’m asking of you?”

“No.” Yes.

He stroked my face with his callused hand and I leaned into it, closing my eyes. “This is it,” he said to me, his voice like a dream.

“This is what?” I was so drawn to the lilt of his accent that it was almost a lullaby in itself.

“The beginning, lassie.  _Our_  beginning.”

I opened my eyes to find him tucking a lavender behind my ear. The scent invaded my nose. It smelled like him—It smelled like  _home_. He stood me up on my feet and I welcomed the sense of turning into mist and shadow. In just a blink of an eye, we winnowed directly in front of my door. His hand gripped the handle wordlessly, almost as a question. I nodded, wringing my hands in front of me as the door opened up.

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

“To be honest with you, I didn’t think it would fit girlie,” my lady-in-waiting said behind me. She ruffled the ends of the dress so it would sit perfectly on the ground.

I took a deep breath, trying not to catch her gaze in the mirror. Tamlin had left me to choose between a ridiculous amount of dresses, but none of them compared to this. The colour matched the lavender still behind my ear. It featured a skin tight tulle top and a flowing tulle bottom that split between my legs. You could see my skin under the fabric, though flowers were embroidered on my chest and around my waist to hide the important bits. I couldn’t ignore the fact that despite it being lavender, it looked a lot like a wedding dress. The thought unraveled me. Was he going to propose to me today?

“Of course he will, girlie. You have a son together.”

I twisted around to meet her extravagant blue eyes. “How did you—”

“Just your emotions, not your thoughts.”

I turned back with wonder. “That’s amazing.” She looked perfectly normal like me. Yet— “You have an amazing gift. Where are you from?” No one in the Spring Court was able to do anything like that.

“It’s a washed up form of Daemati powers from the Night—”

“You’re from the Night Court?” I balked. A shiver ran up my spine as she flashed her teeth at me. Her canines looked very, very sharp. She could eat me right now if she wanted to.

“Oh hush, I don’t eat women—well not like that,” she winked at me. “My father’s father was a dressmaker there.”

“Then why did you leave?”

She shrugged. “It’s a nice change after being cooped up for a while. Plus, I wanted to get away. Your son is beautiful, by the way. What a charming lad that little one is. I wonder who he takes it from? Certainly not his father, I bet?”

“You know perfectly well who his father is I’ve you’ve met him.” I rolled my eyes at her, then straight away regretted it. “I’m sorry for being snippy earlier, I’m getting nervous.”

“It’s fine, girlie—totally understandable.”

“My name’s Kadha,” I said, cringing at myself for not having said it earlier.

“I know.” She reached her hand over. “Geillis.”

We shook hands awkwardly before she cleared her throat.

“Now, how do you want your hair done?” Geillis gathered my dark mass of hair between her hands and held it up. “Like this, or,” my hair flopped down as she dropped it, “like this?”

I shrugged. “Does it matter? I think I’m about to get married to a High Lord.”

She clicked her tongue at me. “He’s not going to marry you today, girlie. Why are you so confident in yourself?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because he just asked me to trust him as he disappears to set up a party where I will be attending wearing a gown I will probably be sick on and then I’d have to work for the rest of my life to afford the damages.”

“Do you like our High Lord?”

“Yes,” I said, but it sounded more like an exhale.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about.” Geillis started twisting my hair in all different directions and pinned little bits up one by one. “Just relax, take it as is and be happy. Nothing to worry about.”

I watched as her magical hands transformed my wild hair into an elegant updo.

“There,” she said, helping me up off the stool. “Now don’t move, I’m going to see if they’re ready for you. Stay there.” Her accent was so strong that I thought she said ‘lay there.’ I wasn’t about to argue. I wanted to lay down. I felt like I was going to faint.

To my surprise, Geillis came back in with Zephyr in tow. I instantly stood up and crossed my arms. “What in the Cauldron are you wearing?”

Zephyr sent me a questioning glare. “I just spent all morning with Ruairi screaming for his ‘ _dah’_  and this is how you thank me?”

“Just ignore her lad, she’s very nervous,” Geillis added.

I smiled at the thought of Ruairi asking for Tamlin. “He’s strangely attached to him.”

“It’s understandable, girlie. The boy’s powers are probably attracted to Tamlins’.”

“Look, we can chit-chat later when we’ve got drinks in our hands, but right now we gotta go.” Zephyr held his arm out for me. “I hate being late, you know that.”

I hooked my arm around his.

“Breathe,” Geillis said to me. “You look like you’re going to be sick.”

I took a deep breath. I definitely am going to be sick.

Zephyr led me out of my room and down the stairs. The manor was empty, except for the few guards that were standing in their posts. Even from the inside, I could hear the noise of the party in full swing. Zephyr and I walked silently until we passed the front doors of the manor. I nearly dug my heel into the ground to stop us from going any further. There were so many people, chattering about whilst live music played in the background. Everybody dressed divinely and nobody had an empty drink in their hands. My eyes instinctively roamed the crowd to find Tamlin. “There’s no chance you’re going to tell me what’s going on right?”

Zephyr faced me as he rested one hand on the pommel of his sword. He was dressed not for a party, but as a guard on duty. Even if the thought of him risking his life for this court scared me, I was proud of him. This has always been what he wanted.

“You deserve your position back,” I said as I stroked the small circular badge on his chest. It featured a wolf howling, surrounded by flowers. I tried to compose myself as realisation dawned on me. He wasn’t just a guard anymore. He was the General of the Spring Court army.

“Tamlin said he needed more honest people around him. I guess I got a promotion?”

My lips pulled up. “Stop low balling it like it’s no big deal, big bro. This is amazing and worth a proper celebration. Tamlin deserves your loyalty and you deserve his unconditional support. I’m sure you’ll make him work harder than anyone, Zephyr.”

He pulled me in a quick hug. “Stop getting emotional with me, you know how much I hate it—Well, will you look who it is,” he said, pointing to a dark haired boy in the distance chatting with another boy his age.

I sighed. “Glad to know our fourteen-year-old brother is still alive.”

Frankie, noticing us looking, jogged over with a big grin on his freckled face. I ruffled his hair and he tried to push me off. “Nice to see you too,” I mocked him.

“Are you even aware of your kid right now?” he laughed. “He’s been dancing for nearly an hour up on that stage.”

“What?” I exclaimed looking around for Ruairi. I had been so nervous getting ready that I hadn’t questioned where Zephyr had left him. My eyes went wide at the sight of my toddler twisting his hips and bopping up and down in the middle of the stage. He squealed in delight, clapping his hands as the musicians played. I was about to have a genuine panic attack when I noticed there standing above him—tapping his feet to the rhythm as he played the fiddle—was Tamlin. He had his sole attention on Ruairi, playing wildly for his son to dance to. A big grin stretched across his face. There was no denying the pure joy shining in his eyes as he played the fiddle on the stage, as the crowd watched with adoration at our son.

“They know about Ruairi,” Zephyr murmured beside me. “You should have seen Tamlin announce him.”

My eyes prickled at the sight of them. Tamlin bent down low to play right in front of Ruairi. Even without focusing on the instrument, he could still play so well. I shook my head. “This is just unbelievable.”

“Go and join them.”

I nodded absentmindedly. I was in a trance. The crowd automatically parted and fell into a hush as I made my way towards the middle of the dance floor. When Tamlin’s eyes found mine, there was no doubt or fear or lingering sadness. It was the eyes of a High Lord who had been given a second chance, a purpose to live, a goal to keep striving. I was lost in those green eyes with flecks of gold.

Ruairi, noticing his father’s attention on me, turned around giddily. His mismatched green and brown eyes twinkled at the sight of me. There was nothing I could do but watch in horror as my little toddler ran towards me across the stage. The crowd collectively gasped, knowing all too well what was going to happen, though the moment my eyes landed on Tamlin, I knew he had it covered. Still holding his fiddle on his left hand, he winnowed and swooped Rauri with his right to land in front of me.

“You look beautiful,” he said into my mouth. “Did you know that?”

“There are so many people watching, Tamlin.”

“Let them,” was his only reply as he propped up Ruairi on his shoulders so that his little feet were dangling on his chests. Our son instantly latched on and closed his eyes, resting his cheek on top of Tamlin’s head.

“He’s eating your hair,” I pointed out, before shutting my mouth up. Tamlin’s face had gotten so serious that I was acutely aware of everything around me.

The musicians started playing quietly in the background, changing into a slow melody that was different from the previous songs they had played. Instead of answering, Tamlin lifted his fiddle and leaned into it. Chills rose up from my bear arms at the first chord that harmonised with the musicians. It was breathtakingly surreal watching him stand before me, out in the open with his bare soul out for all to see. My heart ached as I watched the High Lord of Spring play each chord with such intensity. It was impossible to look away from his captivating eyes. He kept them open, drawing you in, and never once looked away from me as his fingers moved with each note. The tune started off at a gradual pace, haunting and melodic at first, though it crescendos into a harmony of notes and chords that I felt through my very bones. It was a tune of truths and promises. It was his heart out on the line. With our son contently on his shoulders, holding on tight as Tamlin played, there was nothing I could imagine better than to have this future with him until the day that I died. And when he finished, when the last chord rang, silence revolved around us. It was just us three and no one else.

“You’ll have to teach me how to play that,” I said, my voice shaking with each word. “What does it mean?”

“It means,” he said, lowering his fiddle, “that I’m willing to wait until you are ready to marry me. It means that I’d love you even when you’re no longer young and beautiful, lassie.”

And because it was a habit, I cringed my hands and laughed nervously. “I know you will.”

With those words, Tamlin pressed his lips into mine. It was achingly sweet and gentle and tender. I leaned into him, taking in everything that he was giving me. Even if my life would be short, to spend it with him, to spend each moment with Tamlin, would be all I could ever ask of the Cauldron.

A roaring cheer suddenly echoed around us. I reluctantly pulled away from his embrace, only to see everyone clapping and wiping their eyes.

In the midst of the chaos, Tamlin lifted my chin, “let’s get out of here.”

“What? Are you sure?”

“It’s our party, lassie,” he said, his breath tickling my ear as he threaded his fingers through mine. “We can do whatever we want.”

“Where are we going, High Lord?”

“Trust me,” was his only reply as he secured our son on his shoulders and pulled me along behind him. The crowd parted as we made our way out of the garden and through a new set of paths that I had never been to. For a split second, I glanced behind me to remember the smiling people of the Spring Court. They were all watching on in wonder at their High Lord, and as I turned back around to face this new adventure in front of me, I caught a glimpse of the old path that took me back to my village disappearing in the distance.

My tulle skirt swished soundlessly as we passed trees and flowers and bushes. It wasn’t long until the trail eventually opened up into a clearing. I stopped immediately, my hands slipping away from Tamlin’s to cover my mouth. “How was this possible?”

He stood in front of me, still holding onto a sleeping Ruairi. Behind him was a magnificent two story cottage complete with white trimmings and a chimney that was puffing out smoke. There were benches in front of the cottage and an overwhelming amount of flowers decorated the front yard that trailed up into the front façade. I had to pinch myself. This was a dream.

“I figured we couldn’t raise our children in the manor. I wanted them to have their own home, a place that was all theirs. Do you want to come in?”

“I—” I was lost for words. “This is ours?”

“It’s our home, lassie. _Yes_ , this is ours.”

A laugh bubbled out of me. “How did you get this up so fast?”

He shrugged. “Being High Lord has its perks. Your brothers helped too.”

I still couldn’t believe it. This house was ours. I took a tentative step forward, letting everything settle in.

“By the Cauldron,” I breathed as I spotted Glenarder eating hay by an outpost. Tamlin’s stallion was also there accompanying him. The smile on my face didn’t drop as my eyes roamed each and every detail of the place. Eventually, I found myself in front of the front door, where a small window pane sat at eye level. It was a delicate mosaic of purples. I turned to look at Tamlin who now cradled Ruairi in front of him. “Together?” I asked, placing my hand on the doorknob.

Without hesitation, Tamlin’s callused hand came over mine and as one, we both turned the door open into our home. What I saw inside did not disappoint. It was as charming on the inside as it was on the outside. I wrapped my arms around his waist and thanked him. It was everything I needed.

“Let’s get Rauiri settled in his room,” he said into my hair.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. “He’ll have his own room?” My excitement spurred me up the stairs towards the hallway of doors. There were so many. I opened each and everyone until I found what I was looking for. Ruairi’s room was already filled with so many things that it was impossible to know where to go. There was a wall dedicated to shelves of books and knick-knacks. On another wall was a huge window that jutted onto the exterior of the room. It was a little nook where you could lay down with your book and read. Near it was a wooden crib that was decorated with delicate carvings of flowers and animals.

Tamlin walked passed me to place a sleeping Ruairi in his crib. “You haven’t seen anything yet,” he said, taking me into his arms. His lips found mine, and I jumped up to wrap my legs around his waist.

Without taking his mouth off of me, Tamlin walked us out of the room and into another. I didn’t have any time to acknowledge the flood of sunlight that filtered in, or the vast expanse of it. All I could think about was how happy I was and how content I was to have this life with him.

Tamlin placed me down on the edge of the bed as he towered over me. His hair was half up and braided on the sides, showing off his pointy ears. I lifted myself up and placed my legs on either side of him. “I want to see you,” I said, before undoing his belt. I hooked my fingers over the edge of his pants. They dropped down on the floor with a soft thud. My nipples peaked at what I saw. He was already long and hard in front of me. “Take your shirt off,” I ordered, my voice thick with want, already feeling the painful throb between my legs. “I want to see all of you before I taste you.”

His muscles rippled as he reached for the hem of his shirt, but my mouth was already all over him before his shirt fell to the floor. I twisted my hand over his base as my mouth sucked into his length. Tamlin growled so much as groaned. His hands fisted in my hair as I went faster, deeper into my mouth. He let out a vicious sound of pleasure—more animal than Fae—before pulling out of my mouth and lifting me up so that I was on my hands and knees in front of him. Maybe in another time, I would have cared, but I was so deep with want that I didn’t object when Tamlin’s hands brushed behind my neck and ripped my dress off behind me. I smiled at his sharp intake of breath as he realised I wasn’t wearing anything underneath. His broad palm stroked over the curve of my ass and he whispered my name, before feeling my wetness for him.

There was no denying that I felt like I was splitting in half when Tamlin pushed himself all the way into me from behind. I whimpered under my breath as he thrusted hard, not from pain, but from the overwhelming flood of sensation of his sheer size, stretching, reaching deep inside me. He was all over me, not leaving any parts untouched as he thrusted deeper and deeper. I felt him along my back, his hand curving around my breasts to tug and roll my peaked nipples between his thumb and index finger, whilst the other stroked along my clit. I was pretty sure I would come from this alone. I groaned loudly, knowing full well what he looked like behind me.

Sure enough, Tamlin was a sight to behold. His straining muscles were sweat-slicked and contracting. His eyes were burning into mine as he pounded me from behind. I was getting closer to the edge as his hands worked me from top to bottom. I fisted my hands on the sheets to brace myself from the inevitable explosion.

“Say my name,” Tamlin groaned, “I want to hear you say it when you come for me.”

I tried. I really did. His name was on the tip of my tongue before the words died out into a scream of pleasure. I was still in the midst of my climax when he flipped me over on my back and kissed me hard on the mouth before sinking back inside me. I was practically in tears from the sheer satisfaction of him.

This time, Tamlin was slow as he dragged and pulled his erection deep inside of me that my insides were quivered from each touch. He kissed the corners of my mouth, my eye lids, the edge of my collarbone. He whispered my name over and over again until he finally shuddered his explosive release into me.

There had never been a time in my life where I knew what it meant to be so fully and completely needed by someone else until now. I wrapped myself around Tamlin as he caught his breath. He pulled out of me slowly and welcomed me into the crook of his arm. It had been quiet between us except for the sounds of our breathing. We lay there for some time, just holding each other, before he broke the silence and began to lay himself out for me. The curse Amarantha had bestowed in the land. Finding the human. Under the Mountain. Losing someone who he thought he loved. Doing everything to get her back. The war. The part he played with Hybern. It sounded like he blamed himself for everything that had happened. My heart broke for him a hundred times, but when he was done telling me his story, he just turned towards me and kissed me so tenderly in the mouth that my eyes prickled. “It was all worth it,” he said, wiping the tear that had run from my eyes, “waiting for you.”

## ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦ ❦

When I woke up in the middle of the night to find his side of the bed gone, a smile crept up on my face. I found the two wide awake in our son’s room. Books and books were spilled out on the floor in front of them as they lay on their stomach’s in front of the fireplace. Both their feet dangled in the air behind them.

“’S’,” Tamlin said, “What could that stand for?”

Rauri traced the letter on the book in front of him, pretending to think. Mischief twinkled in his eyes and Tamlin matched it that exact look back at his son.

“But dah,” Ruairi squealed in his little voice. “Kaaaw?”

“What’s the magic word, Little Wolf?”

“Pwease?” he asked, his head tilting to the side so he was nose to nose to his father.

Tamlin just pecked a kiss on his nose and laughed, before lifting his index finger up to the ‘s.’ Suddenly, his finger slowly turned into one of his lethal, sharp claws. “This is ‘s’ for?” he asked, tracing the letter again, but this time, his claw left a line on the page.

Ruairi just clapped his hand in delight. His little tiny fingers traced his father’s claw before going back to the letter on the page.

There was no denying the pure pride that radiated in Tamlin’s eyes as his son’s little finger turned into a claw just like his own.

Ruairi traced the letter the way Tamlin had done. “‘S’ for Spring,” he mumbled more to himself, before wrapping his arms around Tamlin’s neck and giving him a big sloppy kiss on the mouth.

I smiled at the two of them, so alike in every way imaginable. Tamlin and I had not reached a resolution as to what was going to happen with my future. But, even if I wasn’t going to be in Ruari’s life for a long, long time, I was only glad that he had Tamlin. Maybe Ruairi wouldn’t find it so bad to take his father’s position. As I leaned against the door watching them, it suddenly didn’t seem so bad to be the Bride of Spring. I wasn’t worried—not anymore. Because it was Tamlin. It had always been Tamlin. He was the resolution.

**Author's Note:**

> I think Tamlin is one of the most interesting characters in ACOTAR, so I've decided to write a 5 chaptered fic about him.
> 
> There's so much more content of this fic on my tumblr @feysandsmut, so make sure you check it out on my blog!


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